A Kid’s Curiosity … A Parent’s Nightmare
The award-winning author of “Anybody’s Daughter” is back with an addictive courtroom drama that gives readers a shocking look inside the juvenile criminal justice system.
Graylin Alexander is a model fourteen-year-old. When his adolescent curiosity gets the best of him, Graylin finds himself embroiled in a sexting scandal that threatens to ruin his life. Jenny Ungerman, the attorney hired to defend Graylin, is smart, confident and committed. She isn’t thrilled, however, when ex-prosecutor Angela Evans joins Graylin’s defense team. The two women instantly butt heads. Can they put aside their differences long enough to ensure Graylin gets justice?
Unbeknownst to Angela, her boyfriend Dre is wrestling with his own drama. Someone from his past wants him dead. For Dre, his response is simple—kill or be killed.
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“What’s the matter, Mrs. Singletary? Why do I have to go to the principal’s office?”
I’m walking side-by-side down the hallway with my second-period teacher. Students are huddled together staring and pointing at us like we’re zoo animals. When a teacher at Marcus Preparatory Academy escorts you to the principal’s office, it’s a big deal. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I’m a good student. I never get in trouble.
Mrs. Singletary won’t answer my questions or even look at me. I hope she knows she’s only making me more nervous.
“Mrs. Singletary, please tell me what’s wrong?”
“Just follow me. You’ll find out in a minute.”
I’m about to ask her another question when it hits me. Something happened to my mama!
My mama has been on and off drugs for as long as I can remember. I haven’t seen her in months and I don’t even know where she lives. No one does. I act like it doesn’t bother me, but it does. I’ve prayed to God a million times to get her off drugs. Even though my granny says God answers prayers, He hasn’t answered mine, so I stopped asking.
I jump in front of my teacher, forcing her to stop. “Was there a death in my family, Mrs. Singletary? Did something happen to my mama?”
“No, there wasn’t a death.”
She swerves around me and keeps going. I have to take giant steps to keep up with her.
Once we’re inside the main office, Mrs. Singletary points at a wooden chair outside Principal Keller’s office. “Have a seat and don’t move.”
She goes into the principal’s office and closes the door. My head begins to throb like somebody’s banging on it from the inside. I close my eyes and try to calm down. I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s probably just—Oh snap! The picture!
I slide down in the chair and pull my iPhone from my right pocket. My hands are trembling so bad I have to concentrate to keep from dropping it. I open the photos app and delete the last picture on my camera roll. If anyone saw that picture, I’d be screwed.
Loud voices seep through the closed door. I lean forward, straining to hear. It almost sounds like Mrs. Singletary and Principal Keller are arguing.
“It’s only an allegation. We don’t even know if it’s true.”
“I don’t care. We have to follow protocol.”
“Can’t you at least check his phone first?”
“I’m not putting myself in the middle of this mess. I’ve already made the call.”
The call? I can’t believe Principal Keller called my dad without even giving me a chance to defend myself. How’d she even find out about the picture?
The door swings open and I almost jump out of my skin. The principal crooks her finger at me. “Come in here, son.”
Trudging into her office, I sit down on a red cloth chair that’s way more comfortable than the hard one outside. My heart is beating so fast it feels like it might jump out of my chest.
The only time I’ve ever been in Principal Keller’s office was the day my dad enrolled me in school. Mrs. Singletary is standing in front of the principal’s desk with her arms folded. I hope she’s going to stay here with me, but a second later, she walks out and closes the door.
Principal Keller sits on the edge of her desk, looking down at me. “Graylin, do you have any inappropriate pictures on your cell phone?”
“Huh?” I try to keep a straight face. “No, ma’am.”
“It’s been brought to my attention that you have an inappropriate picture—a naked picture—of Kennedy Carlyle on your phone. Is that true?”
“No…uh…No, ma’am.” Thank God I deleted it!
“This is a very serious matter, young man. So, I need you to tell me the truth.”
“No, ma’am.” I shake my head so hard my cheeks vibrate. “I don’t have anything like that on my phone.”
“I pray to God you’re telling me the truth.”
I don’t want to ask this next question, but I have to know. “Um, so you called my dad?”
“Yes, I did. He’s on his way down here now.”
I hug myself and start rocking back and forth. Even though I deleted the picture, my dad is still going to kill me for having to leave work in the middle of the day.
“I also made another call.”
At first I’m confused. Then I realize Mrs. Keller must’ve called my granny too. At least she’ll keep my dad from going ballistic.
“So you called my granny?”
“No.” The principal’s cheeks puff up like she’s about to blow something away. “I called the police.”
About the Author
Pamela Samuels Young has always abided by the philosophy that you create the change you want to see. She set giant-sized goals and used her talent, tenacity and positive outlook to accomplish them. Pamela consequently achieved success in both the corporate arena and literary world simultaneously.
An author, attorney and motivational speaker, Pamela spent fifteen years as Managing Counsel for Toyota, specializing in labor and employment law. While still practicing law, Pamela began moonlighting as a mystery writer because of the absence of women and people of color depicted in the legal thrillers she read. She is now an award-winning author of multiple legal thrillers, including Anybody’s Daughter, which won the NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Fiction, and her new release, Abuse of Discretion, a shocking look at the juvenile justice system in the context of a troubling teen sexting case.
Prior to her legal career, spent several years as a television news writer and associate producer. She received a bachelor’s degree in journalism from USC and earned a master’s degree in broadcasting from Northwestern University and a law degree from UC Berkeley School of Law. She is a frequent speaker on the topics of teen sexting, child sex trafficking, self-empowerment and fiction writing.
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Alex Meyers, a dynamic, global entrepreneur, has an advantage that no other human has ever had: he is protected by Aranes, the Superior of the Angels. While he is skiing, he dies in an avalanche, but his all-powerful protector breaks one of the ethereal world’s most important Rules and brings him back to life. Alex falls head over heels in love with the beautiful Angel, who appears to him in human form. But she disappears just as suddenly as she had appeared.
While he searches for Aranes, Alex discovers her true identity and that he actually might be the high-ranking Celestial Abaddon, who is mentioned in the Revelations prophecy as the one who will defeat Lucifer.
The man who fate has thrust among the world’s superpowers is now living a nightmare. He wants to evade Lucifer’s pursuit, find out who he truly is and once again see the only being he has ever loved. And the only way to do it is to make the ultimate sacrifice.
Angels’ Whispers is the beginning of an epic tale set in modern times. The eternal war between Light and Darkness is at a critical turning point: Angels and Demons, invisible to mortal beings, battle for dominance in the physical world, while Guardians, Vampires and Werewolves, who live among the humans, find themselves on opposing sides in a deadly power game.
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In the sphere of invisible reality, where eternity’s whispers divulge primordial secrets, resided an immortal being of formidable power. Hidden behind the veil that covered timeless creation, the otherworldly entity watched the events unfolding in the world of the manifest forms. Inside a rain of pictures and sounds, her numinous perception rapidly surveyed all the important events taking place on earth at the time. Finally, her awareness stopped at a Gulfstream G650, flying at 25,000 feet above Maryland, bathed in the morning sun’s light.
Her supernatural sight penetrated the private jet unhindered. Inside the luxurious passenger cabin with the gray leather furnishing, two men sat in armchairs next to a row of round windows. Both of them were absorbed in their reading, only occasionally glancing at the streaming display of market quotes that flashed on the television across from them accompanied by the muted voice of the Bloomberg financial analyst.
The unworldly entity concentrated on one of them, Alexander Meyers.
Alex, as his few friends and associates called him, was studying an upcoming project on his laptop resting on the table in front of him. He was a physicist, and the owner of a fast-growing company supplying ecological energy, his own invention. At thirty-eight, he was enjoying global success.
He defied the rule that people with exceptional minds cannot also be equally exceptional in looks. Alex was, in a word, striking, and not simply because of his dark, expensive suit. He was tall, with a muscular, athletic build. He radiated strength and a certain magnetism that made him stand out from those around him. His dark chestnut hair, attractive face, and well-proportioned features made up a whole that deserved to be acknowledged as a prime example of male beauty, but the crowning feature was his eyes. They were the dark blue color of a stormy sea, complete with waves, formed by fine silver lines radiating outward from the pupil to the edge of the iris. Though barely visible, they were enough to lend his gaze a riveting force.
Alex looked up at the man opposite him reading a lengthy document.
Four years older than Alex, David Carson was also an attractive man–blond, with blue eyes, but with a calmer strength about him. There was something about his face: an interesting clash between transparency and mystery that made it impossible for even the most perceptive observer to discern his intentions. A successful attorney and the chief legal advisor in the company, he was the person closest to his boss who enjoyed something that Alex did not offer easily: his trust.
The two of them had met at MIT, when Alex was a freshman and David was there for his graduate degree in technology and environmental law. Neither had any family. Only Alex had some distant relatives, scattered around the States, with whom he had no contact. As the oldest and undeniably more mature of the two, David had from the beginning assumed the role of big brother to his wild, but brilliant, young friend, who had challenged social and academic conventions and flustered his physics professors with his startling ideas and cutting-edge theories. Despite their different characters, they also shared enough attributes to have formed a special bond over their many years of friendship. They confirmed the saying “strength in unity”. They were a powerful pair that the business world regarded with a mixture of envy and respect.
“So, what do you think?” Alex asked David.
David rested the folder on the table and loosened the knot on his tie. Even after so many years of having to wear a suit for work, he had still not grown used to the constriction around his neck. Ties were one of the rare annoyances for this man with an otherwise enviable self-control.
“The bill clearly leaves you room to maneuver as you want,” he declared.
Alex nodded with an expression that indicated he was not expecting a different answer.
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“I’m sure you are. It’s not easy to dodge your competitors’ obstacles.”
“I’m taking advantage of their own loopholes,” said Alex indifferently.
For him it was only fair to turn his competitor’s weapons against them rather than on the defenseless. So he had no qualms about taking advantage of anything he could find in the law that he could use in this open warfare.
David refrained from reminding his friend that first and foremost, they should be fair to themselves, and perhaps approach the subject from a different angle.
“So, other than work, what else is going on? Have you made plans to see Claire?”
Alex began to rifle irritably through the papers spread out on the table. It was his usual reaction when a discussion turned to personal matters. When he was away from his office—although he managed to convert anywhere he was into his workplace—he always found a way to show that he had better things to do. But that day, his reaction was not enough to discourage David’s persistence.
“Is that your answer?” David pressured him.
“Why should I see her?” Alex asked, setting aside a thick sheaf of papers bearing the US Energy Department’s logo.
“I don’t know, is there any other reason than wanting to be together?”
“I’m not interested,” replied Alex with an expression that implied he was not willing to discuss the matter any further.
“Here we go again!” David leaned forward, trying to catch his friend’s attention. “You have to do something with your life.”
Alex looked up from the pack of diagrams he was sorting, his eyes grave.
“My work is my life. Besides, romance is overrated.”
“But necessary,” David shot back. “You can’t always be alone.”
“I’m not alone all the time. Here we are.”
“The small breaks you take to meet your biological needs don’t meet your emotional needs,” his friend insisted with calm certainty.
Alex lowered his gaze again to the papers in front of him.
“It’s enough for me.”
“It doesn’t look like it.”
“I’m not one for excessive displays of emotion.” He pulled out a diagram from the pack, leaned back and pretended to study it. “People are, for the most part, a disappointment. The only thing they’re interested in is catering to their psychological and material needs. Most don’t even know the basics about themselves.”
“Not everyone is the same,” David argued. “I think Claire is quite emotionally mature, and also very much in love with you.”
“That’s the problem,” admitted Alex. “I can never return her feelings. So it’s better if I break it off while it’s still early.”
David gave him a searching look.
“Are you trying to protect her or get rid of a burden?”
“Let’s just say that it’s a choice where we both end up winning.”
“Or losing,” David added.
“There is no reason why I should stay in a relationship that doesn’t give me what I want,” replied Alex with a tone that betrayed him being annoyed by the subject matter.
“And what is it that you want?”
Alex tossed the diagram onto the table.
“I know what I want, and maybe one day I’ll find it,” he said with a slight melancholy in his gaze.
At one time, there had been no “maybe”. But after years of fruitless searching he had realized that even charismatic individuals weren’t immune to the rule that “you cannot have it all”.
David gestured towards the window next to them.
“Look outside, maybe you’ll find what you’re looking for there.”
“What do you mean?” Alex scowled.
“That you might be able to find the woman of your dreams up here, because a being such as the one you imagine may not even exist on Earth,” David replied. “Or, wait,” he raised his palm to stop his friend who was about to protest. “Maybe the invasion of an alien race would solve your problem, or a custom-made robot.”
“In that case, I’ll order one for you, too,” Alex shot back. “It seems that you’re not faring any better.”
“I’ve reconciled myself to it, whereas you haven’t. It’s obvious that you’re lacking something.”
Alex bypassed the comment.
“All this because I don’t want to take Claire with us this weekend?” he asked suspiciously.
“What are you going to do on your own in Aspen?”
“You don’t ski, you attempt suicide,” David said with a pointed look, and then went on in an attempt to change his friend’s mind: “I was thinking that if Claire came with us, you’d be polite enough to stay with her and I wouldn’t have to fly around in a helicopter, scouring the mountains and canyons searching for you. Besides, she’s very pleasant company; she’ll help you to relax.”
His elbows resting on the armrests and his fingers interlaced, Alex pensively regarded David.
“Can you tell me what’s got into you?” he asked calmly. “You’ve been getting into my personal life more and more lately.”
“I see you becoming increasingly isolated, and that isn’t helping you at all,” David explained in the same tone.
“I find solitude immensely constructive.”
And very dangerous, thought David. He knew that the minds of people with high IQs worked differently from other people’s, which made them vulnerable to psychological disorders. There had been many cases where distinguished scientists, philosophers and artists had become victims of their intellectual singularity, which had destroyed their lives. Alex had for months been showing such symptoms and David, having noted the change, kept on inventing various excuses to be close to him. Through activities and ideological debates, he tried to limit his friend’s introversion and preserve his intellectual equilibrium. And he had a very serious reason for doing this.
Alex unlaced his fingers and sat up.
“Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to focus on my work. The contract we’re after is very important,” he said, putting an abrupt end to the conversation.
He opened a file with statistical data on his laptop and immediately became engrossed. Once he had decided something, no one could change his mind.
David realized that there was no point in continuing to pressure his stubborn friend. He turned away, and his gaze became lost in the vast sky outside the airplane window.
“I’m not worried about that. In business, you seem to be more favored than anyone,” he said, giving up on trying to change Alex’s mind.
Unlike the dead ends in his private life, Alex’s professional life boasted many successes. His company was growing beyond all expectations. In ten years he had succeeded in becoming one of the major players in the energy industry, a fact for which he was highly resented by his established competitors, who vainly struggled to arrest his growth.
Alex did not reply. The project he was going to Washington for was important, of course, but right now he was using it as an excuse to avoid any further analyses of his love life, or rather its non-existence. Not that he considered it a strictly private matter. Other than his personal moments that he kept to himself, he shared everything else with David. It was just that he didn’t want to poke at his only existential wound. He had never been able to fall in love like other people did. He had never touched or looked at a woman in the way that many of them touched and looked at him. This significant experience was so foreign to him, it was as if he carried a curse.
Until he had turned thirty-five, he had subconsciously covered this lack with some short-lived excitements, and each time he had hoped that something would change. But despite all his efforts, this tactic had not borne any fruit. Disappointed, he had accepted his emotional inadequacy and had gradually withdrawn into himself. In the last three years he had made very few, reluctant efforts to form a relationship and, despite what he said, he knew very well that no one else was to blame for his inability to love. Something inside him stopped him from giving himself wholeheartedly. An indefinable barrier kept him shackled in the torment of loneliness.
The two men exchanged very few words until the private jet landed at Reagan National Airport in Washington half an hour later. A black Mercedes was waiting to take them to 1000 Independence Avenue, the headquarters of the US Department of Energy.
When they arrived, David remained in the lobby. Alex, accompanied by a member of staff, went up to the third floor and entered a conference room. The committee that was to examine his proposal was waiting for him there: four men and a woman, all over fifty, were sitting around a large, oval table, with folders open in front of them. He greeted them civilly and went to stand across from the committee chair, who was sitting at the one end of the table. Before taking a seat in the black leather chair behind him, he rested his briefcase on the table, removed a folder from inside, then closed the briefcase and put it on the floor.
“We’re ready to hear your proposal, Mr. Meyers,” said the committee chair and gestured for him to start.
In a clear, energetic and engaging presentation, Alex offered the data analyzing the comparative advantages of his proposal and also highlighted the irreversible ecological destruction caused by the widespread use of petroleum and other fossil fuels. He continued about the dangers of nuclear energy: radioactive waste and the residues of nuclear accidents remained intact in nature for hundreds of years, condemning millions of people to death from incurable diseases.
The committee chair, the woman and another man were listening carefully; the other two looked bored and indifferent.
Alex entered the last stretch of his presentation:
“In the last few years my company has invested millions of dollars in research and development in alternative energy sources, and I believe the result has vindicated these efforts. My proposal revolutionizes the energy sector and provides access to cleaner and cheaper energy to more consumers than we thought possible.”
Frank Brenner, one of the two men who seemed to be against the proposal, smirked.
“Let’s talk business, Mr. Meyers. We all know that your company’s primary interest is to make a profit.”
Alex heard what Brenner really intended to say: “Don’t pretend you’re interested in protecting the planet. We’re not so stupid as to believe you.” Alex could see that some committee members already had suspicions about him. He had no such suspicions; he had facts. He had reports—a necessary business tool—that Brenner supported the interests of a major oil corporation. So was not surprised.
“I won’t disagree, but for me profit and innovation must go hand in hand.”
“Mr. Meyers is not obliged to defend his intentions,” the man sitting next to Brenner remarked sharply. “This proposal has many advantages we need to seriously consider.”
Alex watched as these two rivals sized-up each other. What would be their next move?
Another member of the committee, who worked behind the scenes for one of Alex’s competitors, entered the discussion:
“Exactly what advantages?” he asked, his baffled expression implying that he, for one, couldn’t see any.
The woman sitting next to him found it difficult to conceal her displeasure. People who sold out without caring about the future, not even their children’s, disgusted her. Unfortunately, she had no proof that would help her throw Brenner and him off the committee.
“Advantages for whom? For the planet, people or your shareholders?” she asked back with undisguised frostiness.
Alex intervened, rescuing the man who had opened his mouth to protest. A dispute between the members could cause the committee to issue no decision at all, and that would not serve his purpose.
“We all know that energy resources are not inexhaustible, and every day we have more and more protests against the environmental pollution caused by other forms of energy. If we also take into account the current economic crisis, the one hundred thousand new jobs created for this project would be good publicity for your party and you. And from what the opinion polls show, you really need it.”
“You have quite an aggressive strategy,” said Brenner, his sarcastic tone barely hiding the hint of a threat.
“I thought we were talking business,” Alex retorted in the same tone.
“This meeting is not the place for personal confrontations,” the chairman intervened, glancing sharply at his colleague.
He made no comment to Alex; he thought it only reasonable that he would react that way to Brenner’s insulting behavior. He did not wheel and deal with high-ranking officials and political leaders and he had the moral right to put the sell-out in his place.
In the short, but tense, silence that followed, a high-frequency sound began to penetrate Alex’s head, becoming louder and louder. Without betraying the slightest disturbance, he discreetly pressed his left ear, trying to stop the noise.
The vibrations in the room were changing their frequency constantly, influenced by the entrance of a supernatural being in the material plane. Suddenly, a pulsating cloud of light began to take shape behind the committee chair, quickly condensing into a female form. Those present would have been shocked had they been able to see the otherworldly entity that appeared—a presence visible only to Brenner’s eyes, or rather the eyes of the being hidden inside him. Making sure that no one was watching him, he turned to look at her. For fractions of a second his eyes glowed red with a burning hatred, and then immediately returned to their normal color.
A radiant, silvery blue aura surrounded the transcendental being’s ethereal body, extending around her in gentle undulations. A cascade of long strawberry blonde hair framed her exquisite face, accentuating her strange-colored eyes. They were neither light blue, nor gray, nor white, but a blend of all three colors that gave her irises a shade that was rare even for the world from which she came. She wore a long, ice blue dress and an ice blue overcoat that flared out at the elbows and hips. It was fastened at the chest with two platinum chains linked to four facing buttons. Her compelling presence exuded gentleness and power, as she stood there serenely in all her majesty, emitting the resplendent light of her sublime nature. She was not just any Angel. She was Aranes, the Superior of the Angels.
Coolly, she cast Brenner an expressionless glance before leaning over the chair’s shoulder.
“Oscar,” she whispered in his ear, “this is not just the same old, everyday decision. Humanity’s future depends on it as well as the planet that was created for its prosperity.” Your responsibility goes beyond the office you hold. Your decision must be in the interest of life.”
She said nothing more, but remained standing behind him, keeping him within the positive influence of her aura. Meanwhile, she was scanning Alex’s aura. He had perceived the disturbance caused to the invisible cosmic force energies from her entrance in the material field, yet he was not sure what caused it. However, he did not miss the committee chair’s brief startled expression and he was looking at him with discreet curiosity.
The chairman never understood why memories of his childhood awakened in his mind. Of the days when he played naked with his friends under the sun without giving a thought to ultraviolet radiation, or when he cupped his hands to drink water from a nearby spring without caring about bacteria or poisons. When his gaze did not stumble on the gray walls of enormous apartment buildings, but got lost in varicolored horizons, and the air he breathed was neither smoggy nor polluted with carbon and sulfur dioxide. Of those days when he never felt the suffocating fear he now felt about his children’s future, and the future of the twin grandchildren that his daughter had brought into the world a few months ago.
The committee chairman snapped back to reality, wondering at the sudden awakening of his conscience, of the sensitivity which he thought had faded with the passing of his youth and his entry in the tough adult world. His decision was not merely made, it dominated his entire being.
He leaned forward and spread his hands on the table.
“It seems that mine is the deciding vote,” he said, looking at his subordinates one by one. “Personally, I believe that the proposal has a number of features that are hard to ignore.” He turned to Alex: “I like it, Mr. Meyers. I’m going to support it.”
Alex nodded. If he felt vindicated, it did not show on his face. He had learned to hide his feelings so as not to reveal aspects of his character that would make it possible for someone, especially his competitors, to predict his reactions. And, when he achieved a professional victory, he thought it foolish to provoke his enemies without reason by smiling complacently.
Brenner and the other member who had opposed the proposal closed their folders with a measure of disappointment. The woman and her like-minded colleague smiled, pleased with the decision.
Aranes slowly crossed the room and went to stand behind Alex’s left shoulder. As expressionless as he, she let her gaze sink into Brenner’s eyes. A dark energy, like a cloud of smoke, began to come out of the man’s body. A few moments later, behind his back, the energy took the insubstantial form of another entity: Asmodeus.
The Archdemon of Eregkal was tall and muscular. Long black hair framed his harsh, sharply angular face and fell freely over his shoulders. He wore dark pants tucked inside his high black boots, a long coat, and elbow-length gloves, all in black leather. His dark aura whirled around him, betraying his irritation at the confrontation’s outcome.
With the arrogance of Demons, who are unwilling to admit defeat, he calmed his aura and winked at Aranes.
“Good work, Princess. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
The Superior of the Angels watched impassively as Asmodeus disappeared, taking with him his strong negative influence. The dominance of the positive celestial energy changed the atmosphere in the room. The humans felt better, except for Brenner, who seemed somewhat dazed.
Aranes rested her hand on Alex’s shoulder as he collected his papers.
“You did it, Alex,” she said softly.
He heard her gentle, unearthly voice and felt an inexplicable wave of warmth pass through him. He went completely numb. For a brief moment, he stopped gathering his papers and held his breath.
The Angel moved away from him and, as she had done countless times before, observed him with interest, thinking how special he was. Humans couldn’t hear the voices of Ethereals or sense their presence, unless an entity wanted to communicate with them—something that happened rarely and only to spiritually advanced individuals who had dedicated their lives to full knowledge of the transcendental. But Alexander Meyers was a prominent scientist and businessman, the epitome of rationalism, and his inner explorations always had objective facts as their starting point. Yet he felt her presence and heard her voice, even though she had not intended it. Why did this happen?
Alex recovered and closed the folder. He shot a quick glance at the people present. They were all gathering their own papers and, thankfully, no one had noticed his momentary confusion. If over the weekend there circulated a rumor on the ever-wakeful market that he had some mental problem—and Brenner would be more than willing to spread it—then on Monday, as soon as Wall Street opened, his company’s stocks would begin to slide. He picked up his bag from the floor and rested it on the table. He opened it, threw in the folder, said a polite goodbye and left the room.
Aranes watched him leave, understanding that this was not over, but rather the beginning of something. But neither could yet fully understand what that could be.
About the Author
J.F. Cain is a writer with a restless mind who spent years of her life reading and traveling. But of all the places she has been to, her favorite is a house in the mountains where she can focus on her writing. She is a seeker of knowledge who transcribes the results of her studies in her books. Her favorite pastime –other than reading and writing- is scouring libraries. However, she has lately convinced herself that she enjoys shopping just as much, as well as spending time with family and friends –the few that can still tolerate her frequent and extended periods of absence.
Her latest book is War Eternal: Angels’ Whispers.
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Title: A WANTED MAN
Author: Robert Parker
Publisher: Endeavour Press
Genre: Crime Thriller
It’s down to fathers and fatherhood.
Ben Bracken, ex-soldier, has just got out of Strangeways.
Not by the front door.
With him, he has his ‘insurance policy’ – a bag of evidence that will guarantee his freedom, provided he can keep it safe – and he has money, carefully looked after by a friend, Jack Brooker.
Rejected by the army, disowned by his father, and any hopes of parenthood long since shattered, Ben has no anchors in his life.
No one to keep him steady.
No one to stop his cause…
The plan: to wreak justice on the man who had put him in prison in the first place.
Terry ‘The Turn-Up’ Masters, a nasty piece of work, whose crime organisation is based in London.
But before Ben can get started on his mission, another matter is brought to his attention: Jack’s father has been murdered and he will not rest until the killers are found.
Suddenly, Ben finds himself drawn in to helping Jack in his quest for revenge.
In the process, he descends into the fold of Manchester’s most notorious crime organisation – the Berg – the very people he wants to bring down…
This action-packed and fast-paced story will keep you turning the pages. Manchester is vividly portrayed as Ben races around the city seeking vengeance.
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My two years in prison ended just how they started – with a stabbing. As soon as Craggs drove the makeshift dagger into Quince’s belly and the recreation room filled with prison staff waving batons, I was moving. I knew they would arrive quickly, and I knew that the door would swing shut just slowly enough for me to slip through. The place erupted in noise and violence, but I didn’t look back. I haven’t done since.
Now, I am running. I can feel my mind bathing in the electric warmth of adrenaline. People are looking at me from a bus waiting at the traffic lights and I try to rein in my stride just a touch. If only they knew what I knew, they might understand why I can’t adopt a more leisurely pace. I need to keep moving.
Hello, Manchester, it’s me, Ben Bracken. I am back. It’s nice to see you, my adopted home town. I’m just sorry it’s under circumstances like these.
I’m arrowing right into the heart of the city, right into the bustling centre, with the sole intention of hiding in the urban congestion. I’m familiar with the city, its quirks, crevices and people, and I know just what to do when I get in there.
The suit I wear, a gigantic, ill-fitting grey coverall of stinking, sweat-soaked canvas, was the chief warden’s only moments earlier. As is the shirt, which will soon be dripping with both our sweat, at this rate. I took both from him as I left the prison – I couldn’t very well come out in my prison issues – and left him there on the steps of the prison in his underpants. He is such a nasty, vile shit of a man. He absolutely deserves it.
He shouldn’t be bothering me for a while, which is thanks in full to the contents of the only item I carry, hanging off my shoulder: a tattered green duffel bag. I can scarcely believe what is inside, but as insurance policies go, this one is ironclad. And I know that as long as it is safe, I am safe with it.
I cross the road and head north towards the Printworks, an entertainment oasis from where I can easily head to my destination, the Northern Quarter. But first, I need to make a call. And the Printworks has a bank of payphones.
It is mid-afternoon, just about 3:45, I think. Thursday. Cold, late October. The city has that quiet afternoon throb about it. The long-lunchers have all gone back to work
by now, hiding boozy excesses on their breath with too much gum, and the early leavers haven’t quite summoned the courage to sneak for the door just yet.
It feels so good to walk on these streets again, for so many reasons. It is a surrogate home now, and after all the travelling it’s still one of the only places on earth where I feel comfortable. I was sent overseas as a soldier, one of Her Majesty’s loyal hounds, setting right the wrongs others had perpetrated against human rights and democracy. A ten-year career mainly stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan saw me reach captain. I was the pride and joy of my family, the ‘Toast of Rawmarsh’ they used to call me back in my home village in Yorkshire. Such memories become more vague all the time. Then I had to make a very difficult choice, which was my undoing. I was cast out, ripped of my purpose, medals and duty, viewed as scum by my peers, dishonourably discharged and sent home in disgrace – and hated by the society I gave everything to protect.
That same society changed a lot in the decade I was away fighting for it, and now I barely recognise it. It now strikes me as an ideal dining out on its rich history. Yet somehow my sense of duty remains. I can’t help it. I don’t believe in My Great Britain anymore, nor even trust it to do the right thing for the people on her shores… But it’s like we were married, Britain and I, long since divorced – yet I’m still inexplicably devoted to my bitch of an ex.
The Printworks is just ahead. I cross the street again, bobbing between the cars, and head in via a side entrance. The Printworks, once the largest printing house in Europe, is now a cavernous converted warehouse, filled with bars, restaurants, cinemas, and a bank of cash machines and payphones. I head straight to the nearest phone and check the pockets of the suit. Two twenty-pence pieces and a ten. Perfect. Thanks, guv’nor. Picking your pocket felt damn good. I know I could call the number reverse charge anyway, but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying getting one over on Chief Warden Harry Tawtridge just one last time.
I dial the number I’ve committed to memory for this very moment. Three rings, then the call is answered not with words, but with silence. I know he is there, though. Bob ‘Freckles’ Froeschle got out three weeks before me, although his exit carried Her Majesty’s consent. This moment was rehearsed, and I feel a buzz at putting our prep into practice.
‘The package will be there from midnight tonight, and I’ll cover it with you as agreed,’ I say. ‘Thank you. I am grateful.’
I hang up. Job done. The insurance policy is almost there. The last strand of the escape plan executed to perfection. I am pleasantly surprised. I’m used to responding to instructions ordinarily with violence. Not this time: I’d used my brains and hadn’t laid a finger on anybody myself. I’m inwardly pleased, which is a damn sight better than the bitterness and anger I was stuck with before.
I know I shouldn’t but I find myself popping another coin. I dial again from recollection, having called Kayla’s house countless times when I was on leave. Before prison, before everything changed.
A voice answers, but it is not Kayla, it is a young boy. ‘Hello?’ he says, not a care in the world.
‘Joshua?’ I say.
‘Yeah, who’s that?’ he replies, playing along. I can feel myself ready to bottle it. So much for being ruthless and decisive.
‘Tell your mum it was Uncle B. Tell her, Uncle B sends love to you all, that includes you, Joshua. And tell her I’m going to do my best.’
What the hell am I doing?
‘Bye, pal,’ I say, before hanging up. I wish I had more in me to say, but I don’t know
how to say it.
I owe that family so much, more than they will know, but I also know that hearing
from me will hurt. It was a selfish gesture to call, damn it all. But they need to know I’m thinking of them. Of him – of Stephen, the man I killed. Joshua’s father and Kayla’s husband. Because if I forget about them, none of what I broke out to achieve will mean anything.
I leave the booth and crack on with something I’m far more comfortable with.
I see a bar opposite, Waxy O’Connors. An Irish bar. I would bloody love a pint, perhaps a cold pint of Guinness. I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol in twenty months now – the length of my stay in Strangeways. I could easily pop in for one, and head into the Northern Quarter after, but my remaining thirty pence probably wouldn’t get me much in there save for a bag of pork scratchings, and I’m almost gagging in this filthy suit anyway.
I use the front exit of the Printworks, passing the Big Issue sellers, and head left, up towards the Northern Quarter. Within a couple of moments, I’m running again, inhaling
the cold, grey air that only Manchester ever really seems capable of providing. It’s like an elixir and I gulp it down.
Between a pair of streets I see the entrance to an alleyway that I recognise. Above the mostly garish shop fronts, the second floors of the buildings are still all set perfectly in the 1940s. It gives the Northern Quarter away immediately: Manchester’s little piece of Manhattan. Movie crews come in to shoot period-set New York films here because it’s cheaper, and it’s a nice little corner you can always head to for a warm welcome, a cold beer, and a good atmosphere.
Damn. The beer popping into my head again. I wasn’t expecting to only be out of the nick for twenty minutes and already be thinking about having a beer. But it signified freedom to me when I was inside, and I certainly have that freedom now. I’ll get my chance. Besides, I’m nearly there. Church Street.
The street is very quiet, and a scrappy alley cat slinks along the pavement, pausing to look at me with that look all cats give humans: how’ve you managed to get this far with just one life compared to my nine? It leaves me to it and I walk up to the glass doors of an apartment complex nestled between two businesses. I call up to the fifth-floor flat I have been to only once before.
A female voice answers. ‘Hello?’
‘It’s an old friend. Last time I saw you, you were in your nightclothes,’ I say, keeping an eye on the street.
The intercom is quiet for a moment, presumably while a decision is being made. I hope she recognises either my voice or the occasion I was alluding to. She should do.
‘Please come straight up,’ she says.
The door buzzes open, and I enter and head for the lift. I am not expecting anyone to be looking for me, at least not quite yet, but I don’t want to stay here long. I’m convinced I’ll be ok, and my previous captors will leave me to it, because it is simple: if they reveal I’ve escaped, I break out my insurance plan. The authorities would come crashing down on that prison like a ton of bricks, and the disgraceful, corrupt management of that facility would be dragged into the light. So I would imagine that for all intents and purposes, Ben Bracken is holed up in his cell, patiently living out the remaining fifteen years of his sentence.
Fifteen years – that should be enough time to get more than a few things done.
It’s heartening to know that nobody will be looking for me, but still, taking care keeps you alive. Care means I should keep this visit fairly brief. Especially while I still carry the damn insurance policy under my arm.
The flat’s at the end of the corridor, and the door is ajar. I knock and push it open a touch.
‘Hello?’ I call out.
The door is slowly pulled open, to reveal a beautiful woman staring at me, her eyes filling a little, her hand creeping up to cover her mouth. She has shoulder-length brown hair, eyes wide as side plates and browner than melted chocolate, and I instantly recall the last time I saw her. Bruised, frightened, and in a very bad way. Her name is Freya, and last time I saw her, I saved her life.
‘I stink. I really smell bad,’ I say, holding my hands up, but she is on me before I can say anything else.
‘Ben,’ she whispers, throwing her arms around me. I’d been nervous about what welcome I might receive, but that has been quickly put to bed.
‘I’m sorry for dropping in out of the blue,’ I say, hugging her back. I’m genuinely glad to see her. We both went through a lot that day, and we haven’t seen each other since I sent her scampering down an emergency staircase in her nightie.
‘What the hell are you wearing?’ she asks, wrinkling her nose and smiling.
‘You don’t like it? It’s always a bit hit and miss when you buy suits off the rail.’ She lets me go, and we enter the apartment. It is as nice as I remember – warm wood
floorboards under an open living space, bare brick walls, and vast floor-to-ceiling windows, which overlook the low rooftops unique to this end of town. If I ever were to settle down anywhere, it would be in a place like this.
‘Tell me to get stuffed, or whatever you like, but I wondered if I could trouble you for a change of clothes, fifteen minutes internet access and, if you are feeling especially generous, a shower?’
Freya smiles and dabs at the corner of her eyes with the sleeve of her dark jumper. ‘Of course,’ she replies.
I love seeing her like this – doing well, and safe. Then, I notice a glitter on her hand
that makes me catch my breath.
‘The wedding ring… You and Trev?’
‘Yes,’ she says, looking at the ring. ‘After what happened, we… didn’t see any reason
to wait anymore.’
I find myself beaming. Everything I did, and the reasons I had for doing it, has been justified. I feel new strength – new steel in my resolve. I feel reinvigorated.
‘We wanted to invite you,’ she says softly.
‘Don’t be daft – I can be tough to pin down.’ I smile. ‘I’m thrilled for you both. Were you ok after what happened?’
She sighs, looking pensive, but she retains the slight fundament of a smile.
‘Yeah. It took some time, but we both got there.’
‘That’s great, Freya. I mean that.’ I need to get down to it. I’d love to reminisce but
with any luck there’ll be less pressing times. ‘Freya, I’ve just got out of prison – kind of. I don’t believe that anyone is after me, but I don’t want to put you in a difficult position – and I already have, just by being here. I need to keep moving but I need help, and yourself and Trev are my best bet. I’m afraid I’m not supposed to be out of prison. But I am. And I don’t want it to come back to bite you.’
Freya takes a step towards me and puts a hand on my shoulder. That warmth again.
Trev is a lucky man, but it was nearly so different. Two years ago, he got home late from his IT job to find the apartment ransacked and Freya missing. A nasty piece of work called Keith Sinfield was running a child sex ring from a flat in the biggest high- rise at the other end of the city, and by accident his laptop, from which he conducted the whole operation, ended up in Trev’s possession. Sinfield kidnapped Freya to force the return of the laptop.
Trev called me. Truth be told, when the phone rang I was being sick into a bin at a crummy budget hotel on the other side of town, on the bottom end of a self-pity bender, but I helped get her back. It was a messy one.
‘After what you did for us, we will do anything we can to help.’ She turned me and gave me a little push. ‘Hit the shower, and I’ll get some of Trev’s clothes together. He’ll be home soon after five, so if you can wait that long, please do, he’d love to see you. Bathroom’s second door back there. We owe you our lives, Ben.’
I have spent what feels like a lifetime undertaking grim tasks and never getting a word of gratitude in return. Receiving it now renders me awkward, overwhelmed and grateful.
Freya leaves me to it, and I head for incredible luxury: a real, private shower, in freedom. Such a simple thing, but a signifier of so much. It feels like a new dawn, a symbol: to wash away my previous life, all its mistakes and sadness, and start afresh.
About the Author
Robert Parker is a new exciting voice, a married father of two, who lives in a village close to Manchester, UK. He has both a law degree and a degree in film and media production, and has worked in numerous employment positions, ranging from solicitor’s agent (essentially a courtroom gun for hire), to a van driver, to a warehouse order picker, to a commercial video director. He currently writes full time, while also making time to encourage new young readers and authors through readings and workshops at local schools and bookstores. In his spare time he adores pretty much all sport, boxing regularly for charity, loves fiction across all mediums, and his glass is always half full.
His latest book is the crime/thriller, A WANTED MAN.
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Nadezdah “Little Boar” Buzina, a young pilot with the Red Army’s 586th all-female fighter regiment, dreams of becoming an ace. Those dreams shatter when a dogfight leaves her severely burned and the sole survivor from her flight.
For the latter half of 1942, she struggles against crack Luftwaffe pilots, a vengeful political commissar, and a new addiction to morphine, all the while questioning her worth and purpose in a world beyond her control. It’s not until the Soviet counter-offensive at Stalingrad that she finds her unlikely answers, and they only come after she’s saved the life of her mortal enemy and fallen in love with the one who nearly kills her.
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13 August 1942
Anisovka, Saratovskaya Oblast
When I climbed into my single-engine, low-wing fighter, praying to get my first kill, I never thought I’d fall in love with someone who’d have me shot.
I flew through my pre-flight checklist as fast as I could, verifying every setting and gauge in the cockpit. I was a last-minute substitution for a patrol near the Don River, and the added pressure of having to scramble put a tremor in my hands. I feared I would miss something that would prove deadly. A single overlooked item could be the difference between coming home in one piece and not coming home at all. And I had promised my little brother a game of cards when the war was over. I didn’t want to go to my grave knowing a fourteen year old had cleaned me out the last time we played.
“Nadya! Slow down!” Klara Rudneva shouted as she hopped on my plane’s wing. Her short stature and oversized male, khaki uniform made her look childish, but her face looked anything but. She reminded me of the famous operetta star, Anastasia Vyaltseva, as they both had the same lively smile, sparkling dark eyes, and angelic beauty. Despite the urgency in Klara’s voice, she gently slid a pair of goggles over my leather cap. “You’ll want to have these, Little Boar.”
I groaned as I set the trim and flaps to neutral in preparation for takeoff. “I wish you wouldn’t call me that. I’m not a boar.”
Klara was a mechanic at the airfield and had seen me off for all seven combat sorties I’d been on. She’d called me Little Boar since I’d arrived at the 586th Fighter Aviation Regiment regardless of my constant objection. She gave the gritty harness that held my parachute on my back one solid tug before tightening my lap belt. “Little boars are hot headed and charge fearlessly at their enemy.”
“Boars are mean and ugly.”
“You are far from ugly, Nadya,” she said with a longing in her tone. “Not with those gorgeous cheek bones and golden locks of yours.”
“And fat head,” I tacked on. “You forgot to mention that, and you do think I’m mean.”
“Only when someone teases you about your Cossack heritage,” she replied, referring to an incident that had happened two days ago involving me and our commanding officer, and ended with me scrubbing floors for eight hours straight. “But if you are mean, be mean to the Germans. Be mean and deadly as my Little Boar should be.”
The roar of two engines firing up on the airfield drew both our attentions. That was the start of the other Yak-1 fighters on this mission’s flight. In moments, we’d all be in the air, eagerly looking to pick a fight with the German Luftwaffe. The time Klara and I had was short, despite my wishes to the contrary.
Klara leaned into the cramped cockpit and gave me a one-armed hug. She smelled of sweat and oil, and grease transferred from her face to mine. I didn’t mind. “Come back to me safe, Nadya.”
“I will,” I replied. This brief exchange had become a ritual between us since our first pairing, twelve days ago. It was a moment in time I’d come to relish. It was our little space where nothing could harm us. Not Hitler nor his army looking to conquer. Not Stalin nor his fanatics looking to purge. It was a place where two friends could savor a moment before being thrust into the chaos of the Great Patriotic War.
“Now go and get your first kill,” she said, squeezing me one last time before jumping off the wing.
Once she waved she was clear of the propeller, I gave her a light-hearted salute and started my plane’s engine. I watched the needle on the oil pressure gauge climb and tried to calm my nerves. The Luftwaffe had dominated the air since the start of the war. Today would be no different, and I wondered how many more planes and pilots we would lose in defense of the homeland. My muscles tightened in my back, and I blew out a simple, hushed prayer. “God be with me.”
As comforting as those words were, I hated whispering them, but over the last twelve years I’d learned to keep prayers to myself after seeing those who didn’t be shot or sent to labor camps. I told myself I was being pragmatic, surviving, even if official persecution had been called off. Some nights when I tried to sleep, however, I considered it was more cowardice than anything.
I used the two wheels on my right to open the water and oil radiators, and then started taxiing the plane into position on the runway. I leaned out of the cockpit to see where I was going since the plane’s nose blocked my view. The cool afternoon breeze carried with it hints of petrol.
The radio sprang to life. Martyona Gelman, my wing leader, spoke with calm authority. “Form on me after takeoff, five hundred meters. One circle of the airfield and we’re going.”
I slid my canopy over my head and locked both it and the tail wheel into place. The roar of the engine softened by about a third, but I felt as if its vibrations in the stick and the foot pedals were three times what they were. I soon became aware that the engine wasn’t causing my controls to shake. I was.
“Easy, Nadya. You can do this.” I told myself, double-checking the gun sight. Focusing on the crosshairs felt reassuring, as if I had control over my destiny. All I had to do was put my enemy in them and down he’d go. I could make a difference in this flight, in this war. A great difference. More so than any of the other girls? No. As far as I was concerned, each one of us in this all-female regiment would leave our mark in history.
“Red Eight, this is tower. You’re clear for takeoff.”
I pushed the throttle forward, and my fighter started down the runway. It built speed like a wild horse cut free from the pens, and I was along for the ride. I used the left rudder pedal to counter the plane’s innate desire to hook right, lest I crash before leaving the ground. God, how embarrassing would that be?
Once the plane hit one hundred and seventy kilometers per hour, with both vehicles and buildings zipping by on the ground, I eased the stick back. My Yak-1 leapt into the air as if it were as eager to reach the sky as I was. An overwhelming sense of freedom washed over me, and I smiled while slipping into a V-formation with the two other girls. Flying was still as magical as I’d dreamed it would be when I had been a little girl watching hawks sail overhead.
I took my position flying wing for Martyona. I was off her right side by a dozen meters, and another girl, Kareliya Malkova, flew on Martyona’s left. In the short time I’d known Kareliya, I had learned two things. First, she was as reserved as they come, and second, she had a vicious streak that hungered for her first victory against a German pilot like none I’d ever seen. I wondered if she’d beat me to it and secretly prayed she wouldn’t.
Our flight should have been four, a pair of wing leaders and wingmen, but another girl’s plane needed last-minute work on the landing gear, and even a dullard knew taking off with only one wheel ended badly. Normally, we would have waited on the repair, but the Germans had reached the town of Kalach-on-the-Don a couple of days ago and were now less than seventy kilometers from Stalingrad. We couldn’t afford to let them reach that mighty city, and thus were forced to go up one pilot short. Our CO said we’d be fine. I dared to believe her.
Our trio headed south. On most flights we’d protect high-value targets from the Luftwaffe, such as railways, bridges, and depots, but with the pressure on Stalingrad, we were being sent to patrol a swath of area northwest of the city. Despite the Red Army Air’s high losses, I was glad we were headed closer to the front as it let me be proud of my service and reinforced the notion we were all doing something important. That and guard duty was about as exciting as hours of pot scrubbing.
The Volga River flowed off to my left. I enjoyed the view of it from above as it reminded me that even in war, nature was beautiful. I also loved seeing the ships come and go from port—they looked so free—and enjoyed wondering what the little girls in the nearby fields thought when they looked up and saw us fly by.
“Everyone tighten up,” Martyona ordered. There was a bite to her tone, not painful, but threatening, like a straight razor pressed against the skin. “Sloppy girls are dead girls.”
I stiffened in my seat. Kareliya was in formation, but I had drifted off and dropped altitude, putting me outside and low of my slot by fifty meters. I slipped back into position with a combination of throttle, elevator, and rudder so we once again made a perfect V.
For the next fifteen minutes we flew in silence, and I was embarrassed at my rookie mistake. I was a Cossack, proud and true, and from a long line of warriors whose skill was only rivaled by our dedication. Thankfully, Father hadn’t been witness to it.
I wondered when we’d encounter German fighters on the prowl. At our current speed, we’d reach their lines in about twelve minutes. As such, I kept a constant watch over the bright blue skies and the rears of the other girls’ planes as best I could and trusted they did the same for me. Though rear visibility wasn’t as bad as I heard it was with German fighters, our Yaks still had a blind spot.
I saw no planes other than the two dark green Yak-1 fighters to my left, and nothing shared the sky with us other than the late afternoon sun. That scared me more than anything. Ever since I’d come to Anisovka, Martyona had told me time and again most pilots were shot down by enemies they never saw. German aces came from unseen places, like monsters in the night every child fears. Luftwaffe pilots, however, were real and more lethal than any imagination.
The radio crackled, and our wing leader spoke. “I can see the Don. Change course to two-three-zero and look sharp. The fascists want to tear into us as much as we want to tear into them.”
Her plane climbed with a gentle bank, and Kareliya and I followed suit. My mouth dried, and goosebumps rose on my skin. The past seemed to fade away, and thoughts of the future fell as well. All that existed was the moment.
I flipped the safeties to both the nose-mounted cannon and the pair of machine guns in the cowl. They should have been ready to fire after takeoff, but I’d developed the habit of waiting later in flight to do so. I was fearful of an accidental discharge, and the last thing I wanted was to be responsible for damaging—let alone destroying—another girl’s plane.
“Stay with me and Kareliya, Nadya. I haven’t lost a girl in almost twenty-four hours,” Martyona said.
I chuckled nervously, her joke doing little for my nerves. Still, I tried to keep the air light and confident. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to ruin your new record.”
Kareliya didn’t chime in on the conversation. She couldn’t, as only a few planes in our regiment had RSI-3 Eagle radio transmitters installed. All Kareliya had was the RSI-3 Hawk receiver, thanks to some genius who thought the ability to talk during a dogfight was unnecessary. After all, who in her right mind would want to lug around a few extra kilos for the ability to say, “Check your six!” or, “I need help!” Idiots probably thought we’d talk about hair and makeup the entire flight, as if that’s all us girls were capable of. They did promise us we’d all have two-way capabilities in the future, but I wasn’t expecting that day to be anytime soon.
The Don River passed beneath us. I bit my lip in eager anticipation of a fight and the chance to prove myself. At the same time a knot formed in my stomach. I checked and rechecked everything. Water temperature. Clear tail. Oil temperature. Oil pressure. Clear tail. Fuel pressure. Manifold pressure. Clear tail. Gun sights. Fuel level. Clear tail. I did this entire routine four times before running my fingers over my leather cap and wondering what I was missing.
“I’ve got eyes on Luftwaffe, one o’clock low,” Martyona said. “Four He-111s along with two 109 fighter escorts. Five kilometers away. Headed east.”
I easily spotted the flight. He-111s were medium-sized, twin-engine bombers, and a staple of Hitler’s war machine. Their lumbering bodies flew in a tight formation and bristled with machine guns to cover one another. Their green paint jobs blended well with the terrain, but their bulk made them stand out. The bright yellow noses of their Bf-109 escorts were even easier to see.
Martyona’s plane accelerated, and my engine’s pitch grew louder and higher as we followed her higher into the sky. The enemy planes stayed on course, apparently unaware of our presence. Even as a green pilot, I understood why Martyona didn’t charge in. She wanted to have the advantage in altitude. Altitude could be traded for speed, and speed meant life. The only thing flying a low and slow plane would grant you in a dogfight was a condolence letter to your next of kin. The only letter I wanted written was to Father, telling him how his little girl scored her first aerial victory. I’m sure he’d celebrate for a week straight once he got that news.
“Stay fast and hit them hard,” Martyona said. “Hit them for the Motherland. Hit them for all you’re worth!”
The ferocity of her words ignited a fire in my soul. I narrowed my eyes and turned my anxiety into hate, hate for those who bombed our cities and razed our villages. I rolled my plane to the left and followed Martyona in a diving attack, vowing to make the fascists pay for flying half asleep over Soviet soil and thinking we’d been so beaten they were safe from our air force. Their audacity fueled the burning in my chest.
Though I was flying to cover my wing leader, I placed the last of the German bombers in my sights. I’d be able to make at least one firing pass on it while keeping Martyona clear of escorts. Once we shot by, we could reassess, maybe even engage the 109s if no one took damage from the tail gunners. Three on two were good odds as far as I was concerned.
Time stretched, and I measured each second by the heavy thumps of heartbeats. I used the gun sight to gauge the distance to my target. Once the bomber’s wings filled the diameter of the sight, it would be about two hundred meters away.
The bomber drew near. Six hundred meters. Five. Four. I don’t know if it was sheer luck or an angelic whisper that tore me away from my target to peek over my shoulder, but when I did, I gasped. Four German Bf-109 fighters bore down on us from out of the sun, their yellow noses filled with guns and cannons promising swift and certain death.
“Break! Break! Break!” I yelled.
Martyona snap rolled her plane and reversed direction with an inverted dive. I followed her as best I could, flipping my fighter and pulling back on the stick. The hard maneuver pressed me against my seat. My arms felt as if they had large bags of lead attached to them. I strained under the G’s, gritting my teeth. My head grew light, and the world muted. I prayed I didn’t black out under the maneuver, and I prayed it had been fast enough that the Germans couldn’t follow.
<< End Ch 1 Sample, Hypable has an exclusive from this point on>>
About the Author
C.S. Taylor is a former Marine and avid fencer (saber for the most part, foil and epee are tolerable). He enjoys all things WWII, especially perfecting his dogfighting skills inside virtual cockpits, and will gladly accept any P-38 Lightnings anyone might wish to bestow upon him. He’s also been known to run a kayak through whitewater now and again, as well give people a run for their money in trap and skeet.
His latest book is the historical fiction, Nadya’s War.
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The book of Song of Solomon is a spiritual book full of allegories or pictures where God used the natural to show the spiritual. By using the keys of understanding found in the Bible the author has unlock the hidden meaning of the book of Song of Solomon.
The book of Song of Solomon is about the love that Jesus has for his bride. When looked at from this angle a lot of the verses makes more sense.
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The narrator is speaking.
Song 1:1 The song of songs, which is Solomon’s.
The first verse starts out describing who wrote this book of Song of Solomon. We know that King Solomon wrote many songs, but this was considered his best ever because it is a song between a bridegroom (Jesus in type) and his bride.
We will use the following verse to show that Solomon wrote many songs.
1 Kings 4:32 And he spake three thousand proverbs: and his songs were a thousand and five.
The bride talks in verses 2–7.
Song 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.
What this verse is referring to is that as he kiss us with an understanding of his word and we respond back to him that there is a coming together of us and the Lord. We start to develop an intimate relationship with the Lord. What I mean by this is that we start to walk closer to him by doing his will in our lives. We come together by the renewing of our minds and can become one with the Lord. First we need to see what the definition of a Bible kiss is. As we look at what the word kiss means, we see two interesting meanings: one is to be put together, and the other is to be equipped with.
The Hebrew word for kiss is:
- to put together, to kiss
- (Qal) to kiss
- (Piel) to kiss
- (Hiphil) to touch gently
- to handle, to be equipped with; (Qal) to be equipped
(Source: From Biblesoft 5 computer program.)
So when we kiss the Lord we see that there is a joining or putting together causing us to0 come together with the Lord. What is happening is that the Lord will develop his nature in us.
In John 17 when the Lord was praying to his father concerning his disciples it was that we could be one with him and his father and each other. This was Jesus prayer concerning us, that we could come together
John 17:22-23 And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: 23 I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. KJV
We can tie the second definition of kiss where it talks about being equipped with Ephesians 4:12 where the word for perfecting can be interpreted as the equipping of the saints. Don’t let the word perfection or perfecting intimidate you; all it means is a maturing or growing up in Christ. So we are kissing the Lord when we allow him to equip us or to take us through the perfecting process in order to put us into his bride. What he is equipping us with is his nature so that we will have the right nature to rule and reign with him as his bride. He equips us through the spirit of God and the word of God, and a fivefold ministry and the things we suffer has an effect also. Ephesians 4:12 shows us that he uses a fivefold ministry to help us in this equipping or perfecting of our lives. At the same time, he gives us his people to help us through.
Eccl 4:9-10 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. KJV
We have been kissed by his mouth when he gives us an understanding of his words, the words of life. And as we respond (kissing him back) by living these words that he has given us it causes a change to take place in our lives that cause us to come together with him. We develop a love of the truth and a deeper love for of the Lord.
Now let us consider the words that Jesus spoke about equipping us in the following verses:
Prov. 24:26 Every man shall kiss his lips that giveth a right answer. KJV
Truly Jesus gives us the right answers. I will use the following verses to show that Jesus used the word of God to kiss us, i.e., give us a right answer. I believe Proverbs 24:26 is the key verse to understand what kiss is about because this verse ties lips in with a right answer or what a person is saying.
Matt. 4:4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. KJV
John 6:63 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. KJV
John 6:68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life. KJV
We need to respond back to the Lord with a spirit of meekness in order to receive his word into our lives as stated in James 1:21 we do this by putting it to practice in our lives.
James 1:21 Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. KJV
1 John 4:19 We love him, because he first loved us. KJV
Luke 11:28 But he said, Yea rather, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it. KJV
Ps. 2:12 Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him. KJV
This word angry means to be displeased with. So by not responding to the Lord’s kiss or his word, God becomes displeased with us and the end result is we will lose out with God or perish from the way. Let’s look at the Hebrew word for angry.
to be angry, to be displeased, to breathe hard
- (Qal) to be angry (used of God)
- (Hithpael) to be angry (always of God)
(Source: From Biblesoft 5 computer program.)
Ps. 7:11 God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day. KJV
He is displeased with the wicked everyday because of the sin they commit; he would like to see them come to repentance and acceptance of his son in their lives.
Song 1:2 for thy love is better than wine. (love)
This shows to me that to have God’s love working in my life is more to be desired than wine or doctrine. Let’s first deal with his love or the love of God and then we will deal with the wine part.
The Greek word for love and for charity is the same. So charity (1 Cor. 13) is God’s love for us.
When 1 Corinthians 13 talks about charity which describes God’s love or his charity for us and the kind of love we need to have for others. He showed us his great love for us by sending his son to die for our sins and open up the pathway to immortality and eternal life for us.
1 John 4:19 We love him, because he first loved us. KJV
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. KJV
1 Cor. 13:4–8 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8Charity never faileth: KJV
1 Tim. 1:5 Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned: KJV
When all is said and done the finished product in our lives should be charity or having God’s love manifested in our lives, and as his love start to develop in my life, his light will shine out in this dark world and others will be able to see it and magnify and glorify God. God’s love will help us produce a pure heart in our lives.
Song 1:2 for thy love is better than wine. (wine)
Now to deal with what wine is, wine is a picture or type of doctrine in or it can be used as a picture or type of the Holy Ghost. Here in this scripture I believe that wine is a picture of our doctrine. When I think about wine I usually think of it as the pressing of the grapes together to get the juices out and then it goes through a fermentation process thus producing wine or alcohol. Wine can have an intoxicating effect causing one not to think or act right. We can become intoxicated or drunk on our own wine or doctrines and teachings and not be willing to consider other people ideas or beliefs. The reason his love is better than wine or doctrine is that if I truly love my brother, I will love him even if he doesn’t agree with me. It will help me keep the unity of the spirit until I come into a unity of the faith with my brother or sister. My doctrine can actually separate me from others who might not agree with me.
Another reason his love is better than doctrine is that the wrong kind of doctrine will produce the wrong kind of spirit. A bad doctrine will produce a bad or hateful spirit, but the doctrine of Christ will produce a spirit that is full of the love of God. If I have the right spirit working in my life, it will allow me to listen to others who don’t agree with me and my doctrine, thus allowing me to finally know the complete truth of the scripture. The right spirit will help us love our brothers and sisters until we come into the unity of the faith or doctrine. It is the teachings and doctrines of the Bible that produce the right spirit inside of me.
I am using Genesis 9 to show that wine or alcohol in the natural sense can cause us to become intoxicated and not understand what is happening around us.
Gen. 9:21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. KJV
Now to apply the spiritual understanding to being drunk, this is a wandering or erring from God through false doctrine or teachings:
Isa. 28:7 But they also have erred through wine, and through strong drink are out of the way; the priest and the prophet have erred through strong drink, they are swallowed up of wine, they are out of the way through strong drink; they err in vision, they stumble in judgment. KJV
Showing that the wine or strong drink affected their vision, so if I have the wrong doctrine or understanding of the Bible that understanding can also affect my vision and/or judgments. Spiritually I don’t want anything to affect my vision, and in order to do that, we need to do as Proverbs 9 states that wisdom has mingled her wine or her doctrine. This means that wisdom was willing to put what she believes out there for others to see, and to also consider others’ beliefs and understanding in the light of the word of God. Asking questions like is it possible that what I have been taught is wrong? How does it compare with the Bible? Just like wisdom in Proverbs 9 was willing to mingle her wine we also need to have that kind of spirit so that if there is any error in my understanding I can get rid of it and go on with God.
Prov. 9:2 She hath killed her beasts; she hath mingled her wine; she hath also furnished her table. KJV
Prov. 9:5 Come, eat of my bread, and drink of the wine which I have mingled. KJV
Wisdom has killed her beasts or she has brought her spirit under control so there could be a mingling of the wine. She is willing to listen to what others have to say. This has to be done in a spirit of charity or love as I will show in Ephesians 4:2–3, and 13. **
I can be deceived by the wrong doctrine of the scriptures, thus the need to mingle what I believe about the Lord with others, but we need to have a right spirit as we are discussing our different believes. In Ephesians 4:14 and Ephesians 5:18 we see that the wind of doctrine can be used to deceive us and that instead of being drunk with wine we need to be filled with the spirit.
Eph. 4:14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive. KJV
Eph 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit. KJV
**Eph. 4:2–3 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;
3Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. KJV
**Eph. 4:13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ: KJV
The first thing here is the need to keep the unity of the spirit with a peaceful spirit until you come into the unity of the faith. As we go about trying to restore his truth we must have the right spirit to be able to listen to others point of view and consider what they are saying. God’s love will help us have the right spirit as we mingle our wine or doctrine “till we come into the unity of the faith.” That is why his love is better than wine.
Song 1:3 Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee.
The good ointment is the sacrifice that Jesus made not just in dying on the cross for us but also his living an overcoming life. What the overcoming life produced was a sweet smelling savour or fragrance unto God. He then poured it out unto us by giving us the baptism of the Holy Ghost. Having the ointment of the Holy Ghost working in our lives will produce a sweets smelling aroma in our lives just like Jesus had. His name or his character is being revealed to his people this is causing them to start to purify themselves so that they can be just like him. They are working on overcoming the works of the flesh that is mentioned in Galatians 5:19 replacing the works of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit. As we work on overcoming the flesh that is how we show our love back to the Lord with the desire to be like him as mentioned in 1 John 3:1-3.
1 John 3:2-3 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 3 And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure. KJV
John 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments. KJV
Let’s break Song 1:3 down further for our understanding. First let’s deal with what is a name or what does a name stands for in the Bible, and then we will get to the ointment. A name in the Bible can denote either someone’s authority, such as “I come in someone’s name or authority,” or it can denote a nature, or character. This next verse discusses name as a character:
1 Sam. 25:25 Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send. KJV
This verse shows us that his name described him perfectly. Nabal means fool.
Nabhal or Nabal = “fool”
a man of Carmel who spurned David’s messengers, then died of shock when he realized it might cause his death; his case was pleaded by his wife, Abigail, who became David’s wife after his death.
(Source: From Biblesoft 5 computer program.)
These next two verses show us that in proclaiming his name, God started to describe his character.
Exod. 33:19 And he said, I will make all my goodness pass before thee, and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before thee; and will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will shew mercy on whom I will shew mercy. KJV
Exod. 34:5–6 And the Lord descended in the cloud, and stood with him there, and proclaimed the name of the Lord. 6And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The Lord, The Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth. KJV
The following verses show us how important a good name is and there is no better name than the name or nature of Jesus.
Eccles. 7:1 A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one’s birth. KJV
Eccles. 10:1 Dead flies cause the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savour: so doth a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom and honour. KJV
Phil. 2:9–10 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: 10That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth. KJV
Acts 4:12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. KJV
Now to deal with what the ointments are.
Song 1:3 Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee.
Again, what this is showing us is that because of the sacrifice that Jesus made in overcoming his flesh which produced a sweet aroma which is causing those that want to overcome to love him enough to work on overcoming sin in their lives.
The ointment which was poured forth was the Holy Ghost which he poured out on the Day of Pentecost. (Acts 2:33 KJV). You could say that we had our head and/or our lives anointed with ointment or the Holy Ghost. We need to consider what savour is because ointments produce an odor, and our lives should be producing an aroma also.
Savour (reference Strong’s number 7381)
OT:7381 reyach—a scent, a fragrance, an aroma, an odor
- a) a scent, an odor
- b) an odor of soothing (a technical term for a sacrifice to God)
(Source: From Biblesoft 5 computer program.)
The reason his name is better than any other name is because of the sacrifice he made for us.
Genesis 8:21 and Ephesians 5: 2 are tied together. Just like Noah’s sacrifice caused the Lord to smell a sweet savour or aroma, Christ also produced this sweet aroma when he sacrificed himself; i.e., it produced an ointment, if you will. And he poured it out unto humanity on the day of Pentecost when he poured out the Holy Ghost. The sweet smelling savour came from the sacrifice.
Gen. 8:20-21 And Noah builded an altar unto the Lord; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. 21And the Lord smelled a sweet savour; and the Lord said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man’s sake; for the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more everything living, as I have done. KJV
Eph. 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. KJV
Prov. 27:9 Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel. KJV
This shows that hearty counsel is like an ointment. We get hearty counsel from the Lord through understanding his word.
Eccles. 9:8 Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment. KJV
Ps 133:1-3 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! 2 It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; 3 As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore. KJV
Let my head or the way I think and process things be anointed with the understanding of the word of God. Also in Psalms 133 the Bible talks about unity being like an ointment and how important this unity with the brethren is, for it is in unity that the Lord commands the blessings so I need to learn also to work in unity with him and his body. So we see that unity can also be anointment.
Song 1:3. thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee.
Virgins are people who have not been defiled by men or the traditions of men. Thus, they would be people who are working on overcoming their nature. Revelations 14 is talking about the 144,000 bride members and one of the things that is stated about them are they are virgins. The following two verses will show us both a natural virgin and a spiritual virgin or overcomers.
Gen. 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up. KJV
Rev. 14:4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb. KJV
To get us to be a part of the group in Revelation 14 was Paul’s goal. Consider the next verse:
2 Cor. 11:2 For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. KJV
To be a chaste virgin is more than just to have chastisement working in our lives, but it is a way of living our lives. That we may live pure and holy or separated lives, separated from the natural, carnal way of doing things.
The name of Jesus or his character is better than counsel or even having the anointing of the Holy Ghost in our lives, as great an experience as that is. Getting to the place where we have the nature of Christ is the end result of having both the counsel (word of God) and the Holy Ghost anointing our lives. If we will allow his nature to occupy our minds until it becomes our nature, we will be like him when he appears.
Song 1:4 Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine:
This shows us that the Lord is drawing us unto Jesus and that we can have a close relationship with Jesus if we allow ourselves to be drawn to him. We always want to remember how much the Lord loves us, so that when we go through hard times, we can have a confidence and trust in the Lord no matter what we have to go through because we know how much he loves us. Add that to our understanding of the Bible and it can and will hold us strong and steady unto the end.
John 6:44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day. KJV
John 12:32 And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me. KJV
Jesus talking about his crucifixion was going to draw all men unto himself.
As we are drawn to the Lord it causes us to want to get our lives purified so we can be close to the Lord.
James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. KJV
Ps. 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works. KJV
Ps. 42:1–2 As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. 2My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God? KJV
Heb. 7:19 For the law made nothing perfect, but the bringing in of a better hope did; by the which we draw nigh unto God. KJV
This better hope that Jesus brought us is causing us to draw nigh to God. What this better hope is that we have a high priest in Christ Jesus who can be touched by the feelings of our infirmities. Also the fact is that he has an unchanging priesthood that he will abide forever more death has no more dominion over him.
Heb. 10:22 Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. KJV
Song 1:4 Draw me, we will run after thee:
A brother in our church brought out this point; it says draw me (singular) and we (Plural) will run after thee. So we are called unto the Lord on a personal level but then it takes a corporate effort to go on with the Lord. There is no me and Jesus got our own thing going we need to be a part of his body. We need that which every joint (person) brings in order to increase or grow in God. We don’t always know when and who we are supplying strength to when we get together with God’s people. Look at the following scriptures:
Eph 4:16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love. KJV
Col 2:19 And not holding the Head, from which all the body by joints and bands having nourishment ministered, and knit together, increaseth with the increase of God. KJV
We then see that the nourishment for the body of Christ comes through the joints and bands or the people that is why it changes more from a personal walk to include a corporate walk as well. We need each other in order to finish this walk with the Lord.
Heb 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.KJV
Song 1:4 the king hath brought me into his chambers
His chambers are the assemblies in the body of Christ. Chambers are the inner most parts of the house where people retire to rest. This is where we can find rest for our souls, no longer having to work in our flesh. It is the Lord’s desire to have a close and personal relationship with all of us if we would let him.
Song 1:4 we will be glad and rejoice in thee
We are rejoicing in the Lord because of where he has brought us to and the new relationship we have with him. Rejoicing in the Lord is where we get our strength because as we start to praise or rejoice in him, it causes us to magnify him and makes our problems smaller.
Neh. 8:10 Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength. KJV
Ps. 50:23 Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I shew the salvation of God. KJV
As we start to praise and magnify the Lord it makes him bigger and our problems smaller. This helps us get victory in our lives; that may be one reason Paul said to give the Lord thanks in all things.
Eph 5:20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; KJV
Song 1:4 we will remember thy love more than wine.
This is talking about remembering the love of God in our lives is more important than our doctrine. If we will remember his great love for us it will help us go through all kinds of adversity in our lives because we know that he loves us and is working all things out for our good. And one of the greatest aspects of the love of God is that he sent his son to die for the sins of the world. Jesus after he conquered death than poured forth the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues on the Day of Pentecost, thereby shedding the love of God abroad into our hearts. And then he brings us to his people where we can feel the love of God thru them, and then the Lord start to giving us an understanding of his word to stand on all because of his great love for us..
1 John 4:10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. KJV
Rom. 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. KJV
Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. KJV
Song 1:5–6 I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon. 6 Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me: my mother’s children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept.
Song 1:5–6 I am black, but comely
Again this has nothing to do with nationality or race but what is being said here is that I am different or stick out from the rest of the world and what also makes me comely or beautiful is because of the effect that the sun (Jesus) has had upon my life.
Spiritually speaking this means that we have been exposed to the sun (Jesus) by the light of the gospel causing a change to take place in our lives. God is working with us not only to deal with our sins but to also overcome them. This will cause us to be changed and look differently than the world because we will act different than the world. And people can recognize the life of Jesus being manifested unto the world through our lives. The process of overcoming our natural will and spirit by the trials and tribulations that we are going through will make us comely or beautiful in the eyes of the Lord.
This is what makes us as beautiful as the tents of Kedar and the curtains of Solomon.
2 Cor 4:4-6 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. 5 For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus’ sake. 6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. KJV
Song 1:5 as the tents of Kedar. (according to Strong’s number 693,8 a descendant of Ishmeal)
OT: 6938 Qedar
Kedar = dark
as a proper noun, masculine:
- a son of Ishmael
as a proper noun, people
- the descendants of Kedar
(Source: From Biblesoft 5 computer program.)
Here the writer is describing themselves as black as the tents of Kedar. We know that Kedar was the second son of Ishmael who was the son of Abraham by Hagar. Based upon Ps 120 it appears that they were a war like or military type of people and also they were nomads hence the tents. Their tents were made out of black goats hair thus the black as the tents of Kedar. If this is the case than what made them so beautiful would be that they were probably organized when they set up camp, showing having some order in their lives This would be just like when Balaam came to Baalak to curse Israel in Numbers 24:2-5. The higher he got the more beautiful the camp of Israel looked.
Ps. 120:5–7 Woe is me, that I sojourn in Mesech, that I dwell in the tents of Kedar! 6 My soul hath long dwelt with him that hateth peace. 7 I am for peace: but when I speak, they are for war. KJV
Num 24:2-5 And Balaam lifted up his eyes, and he saw Israel abiding in his tents according to their tribes; and the spirit of God came upon him. 3 And he took up his parable, and said, Balaam the son of Beor hath said, and the man whose eyes are open hath said: 4 He hath said, which heard the words of God, which saw the vision of the Almighty, falling into a trance, but having his eyes open: 5 How goodly are thy tents, O Jacob, and thy tabernacles, O Israel! KJV
Consider also in dealing with being black but comely, the tabernacle in the wilderness was not very pretty on the outside but beneath all the curtains you would have found gold inside showing us not to judge on the outer appearance but look for the things that God has done on the inside. Spiritually speaking we might look black and not so pretty on the outside, but inside or under those coverings there is something of great value that God has put in to our lives. God has put some gold or understanding of his word that is changing our lives.
Song 1:5 the curtains of Solomon
These curtains or veil of the temple were bright and colorful similar to the curtain in the tabernacle in the wilderness. Now since Paul said that this curtain was a picture of Jesus flesh what this is saying is that because of Jesus shining (the sun has looked upon me) in our lives that it can produce that same beautiful life before the Lord in our lives.
2 Chron 3:14 And he made the vail of blue, and purple, and crimson, and fine linen, and wrought cherubim thereon. KJV
I believe that “the curtains of Solomon” is talking about the veil that separated the holy place and the most holy place in the temple of Solomon. Behind this veil or curtain was the ark of the covenant which represented the place where God dwelt. (Until the temple was built they would carry this ark around on the shoulders of the priest, it would be covered with a blue cloth. After the temple was built they moved the ark behind this curtain and the priest would go behind this curtain once a year on the Day of Atonement when a sacrifice was made for himself and the sins of the people the priest would go beyond this veil where he would present the blood of the sacrifice before God. Paul in Hebrews 10:20 tells us this curtain is a picture of Jesus flesh so in this case this curtain would represent the live that Jesus lived in this flesh a life of overcoming. How beautiful was that life that he lived. This means that he was able to take the different natures and produce righteousness in his life.
Look at some of these colors of the curtain Red, Blue, white, purple, and cherubim’s. Consider these types for the meaning of the colors.
Red is man’s color that is what the name Adam meant was red.
OT:120 ‘adam —
1) man, mankind
- a) man, human being
- b) man, mankind (the much more frequently-intended sense in the Old Testament)
- c) Adam, the first man
- d) a city in the Jordan River valley
OT:121 ‘Adam —
Adam = “red”
1) the first man
2) a city in the Jordan River valley
From Biblesoft 5 computer program
Blue being God’s color because it is the color of heaven. Also in Exodus 24:10 talks about sapphire stones which to me is blue although there are other colors of sapphires.
Ex 24:10 And they saw the God of Israel: and there was under his feet as it were a paved work of a sapphire stone, and as it were the body of heaven in his clearness. KJV
Purple is Jesus color because it takes blue and red to make purple.
White being righteousness because of Revelations 19:8
Rev 19:8 And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. KJV
We use Mark 15 to show that this rending or tearing of the curtain or veil at the time of Jesus crucifixion was a picture or type of Jesus overcoming his flesh.
Mark 15:38 And the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom. KJV
Heb. 10:20 By a new and living way, which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh. KJV
See this way was opened up to us by Jesus overcoming live and the way this applies to us is that we are being changed into the same image as he is, hence as beautiful as the curtains of Solomon or we are having the same overcoming life.
1 Cor. 13:12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. KJV
There is coming a day when we will no longer be looking at the Lord through our flesh but we will see him as he is.
2 Cor. 3:18 But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. KJV
Song 1:6 Sun (the sun is Jesus)
Jesus is the sun of righteousness, and if we will allow our flesh to be exposed to his righteousness through his word, he will cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Darkness or ignorance can hide a lot of imperfections but just like natural light exposes all the imperfections because you can now see it so also does the word of God in our lives, the word of God will expose our sins and our sinful natures so that we can deal with them..
Ps 119:130 The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple. KJV
1 Cor 4:5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God. KJV
Let’s deal with some scriptures on the sun exposing our sins first a couple of scriptures to show that Jesus is the sun.
Ps 84:11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.KJV
Mal. 4:2 Shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings. KJV (talking about Jesus)
Ps. 32:5 I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah. KJV
Ps. 90:8 Thou hast set our iniquities before thee, our secret sins in the light of thy countenance. KJV
Ps. 69:5 O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee. KJV
1 Tim. 5:24 Some men’s sins are open beforehand, going before to judgment; and some men they follow after. KJV
In 1 Timothy 5:24 These men were able to take care of their sins because they had been exposed to the light of the gospel so that they can deal with their sins before judgment time.
James 1:25 But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed. KJV
Acts 4:13 Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus. KJV
Acts 4:13 shows us that the apostles were affected by being exposed to the teachings of Jesus.
Song 1:5 Look not upon me, because I am black
You could look at this statement as this woman (bride) is sad because she has gotten sun burnt from being out in the sun too much and that would be valid observation. This statement comes after she said she was comely or beautiful. Let’s consider if you will that what she is saying is don’t look on the outward appearance because the sun has been shinning in my life. She says she is as beautiful as the tents of Kedar and the curtains of Solomon.
Song 1:6 my mother’s children were angry with me.
Our mother is the early church and my mother’s children would be the different religious sects that came out of the early church. All Christendom can trace their beginnings back to the early church.
Gal. 4:26 But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all. KJV
Song 1:6 were angry with me
The reason they are angry or again displeased with us is that some people do not want to live an overcoming life but live after the flesh and are angry because our lives of righteousness will condemn them in the sense that they know that they should be living the same kind of life.
John 3:19–21 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. 21But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. KJV
They want to come under his covering or to be called by his name to take away their reproach.
Isa. 4:1 And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach. KJV
I am using Isaiah 4:1 to show the spirit of a person, I want to do my own thing but I want to be called by the name of Christ so that there is no reproach to the way I am living. To show how it takes away our reproach it is like the saying we are not perfect but just forgiven. Yes we do fall short of the glory of God and do need to be forgiven and he is just to forgive us, however the apostle Paul in Romans6:1 said should we continue in sin that grace may abound. His answer was God forbid. So we see a need to change our sinful nature.
Song 1:6 they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept.
We use this verse in the context of ministers taking care of other churches before coming to the body, but let’s use it on a more personal level. To be clear what I am talking about is I can tell others how to change their lives and neglect the changes I need to be making in my own live. I will use the vineyard as my life and that I can get so busy trying to help others straighten out their lives, or their vineyard, that I never take care of the things (sin) in my life that I need to overcome. In the process I neglect my own vineyard and it produces thorns instead of the fruits of righteousness that God is looking for. If I will work on taking care of my life the helping of others will come with the changes that the Lord is making in my life.
Prov. 24:30–31 I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding.
31 And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down. KJV
By being slothful this person’s field was unusable for growing things, so what is being slothful.
Being slothful is not just being lazy, but it also includes be neglectful. This is important. While I wouldn’t consider myself lazy, I can be neglectful in not just life but also in the things of God. So what we see in the scripture above is a person who has neglected his fields and they have overgrown with thorns.
Thorns are the deceitfulness of riches and other things that crop up in my life that take away from the word of God working in my life (Matt. 13:7, 22).
Heb. 2:3 How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard him. KJV
This is still the bride talking to Jesus.
Song 1:7 Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions?
Jesus is the shepherd and we are the flock of his pasture.
John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: K JV
Ps 100:3 Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. KJV
Song 1:7 Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest
Can you tell me where Jesus is shepherding his flock or where he is feeding his church? Where does he give his people rest from this world? We will find it is a place where there is life for your soul, a place of green grass. Feedest refers to being a shepherd, which is the number one definition of the word.
OT:7462 ra`ah —
1) to pasture, to tend, to graze, to feed
- a) (Qal)
1) to tend, to pasture
- a) to shepherd
- b) used of a ruler, used of a teacher (figurative)
- c) used of people as a flock (figurative)
- d) shepherd, herdsman (substantive)
2) to feed, to graze
- a) used of cows, sheep, etc. (literal)
- b) used of an idolater, of Israel as a flock (figurative)
- b) (Hiphil) shepherd, shepherdess
2) to associate with, to be a friend of (the probable meaning)
- a) (Qal) to associate with
- b) (Hithpael) to be companions
3) (Piel) to be a special friend
(Source: From Biblesoft 5 computer program.)
Side note: (I was asked to explain what is an idolater; an idolater is someone who served false gods and it appears from Paul’s writings that they would eat the sacrifice after it was offered 1 Corinthians 8:8-13.)
Ps. 23:1–2 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. KJV
Ps. 23:5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. KJV
When Jesus fed the five thousand in John 6, he made them sit down on green grass, showing that he was going to be a shepherd to the people. While we can get things from God’s word on a daily basis on our own, there is also a part that the ministry plays in our understanding of his plan. Notice the order in which he fed the multitudes: he first gave food to the disciples and then they fed the multitude.
John 6:10–11 And Jesus said, Make the men sit down. Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, in number about five thousand. 11And Jesus took the loaves; and when he had given thanks, he distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to them that were set down; and likewise of the fishes as much as they would. KJV
John 6:10 sat on much grass.
(Mark 6:39 mentions that it was green grass; green represents life, or a place of life.)
So we see that Jesus will feed us in green pastures or on the green grass, but there is an order to how he does this, and it is through his ministry.
Song 1:7 where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon…
At noon which is the middle of the day when it is starting to get hot. This would be the times of adversity in my life. Where do I go to find rest for my soul? I find rest for my soul when I put my trust and confidence in him, even when things are going against me. We go through chastisement or trails in our lives to help us line up with God’s word and his ways so we can be like him.
Ps. 94:12–13 Blessed is the man whom thou chastenest, O Lord, and teachest him out of thy law; 13That thou mayest give him rest from the days of adversity, until the pit be digged for the wicked. KJV
Ps. 125:1 They that trust in the Lord shall be as mount Zion, which cannot be removed, but abideth for ever. KJV
Prov. 3:5–6 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. KJV
Song. 1:7 for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions?
This message that we have found about being in the bride is of great value. Are we willing to do what it takes to keep it and not turn aside from following the Lord? We can be turned aside by following false doctrine or the traditions of men instead of the true gospel of Christ. These companions are people who are preaching a different message than the one Jesus and the apostles preached, which was a message of overcoming the flesh and being in the bride of Jesus Christ.
2 Cor. 11:4 For if he that cometh preacheth another Jesus, whom we have not preached, or if ye receive another spirit, which ye have not received, or another gospel, which ye have not accepted, ye might well bear with him. KJV
Gal. 1:7–8 Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ. 8But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed. KJV
Acts 13:10 And said, O full of all subtilty and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord? KJV
Here in Mathew 13 is someone who found something of greater value than what he had and sold everything he had to buy it. What I have does not compare to what I can get from serving the Lord so am I willing to sell all I have to buy that field? What I have to sell would be my religious ideas, my own way of doing things, etc.
Matt. 13:44–46 Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field. 45Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: 46Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it. KJV
In verse 8 Jesus responds to the bride.
Song 1:8 If thou know not, O thou fairest among women, go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock, and feed thy kids beside the shepherds’ tents.
We need to follow in the footsteps of the early church and the apostles if we want to find the way of the Lord. We need to find and use the teaching which Jesus and the apostles taught as our blueprint for our lives, the old paths and walk in them and it will cause us to live a righteous life. We need to quit walking in our own way and start following the Lord because the way that seems right to men but the end thereof is death I need to find his way and follow him.
Jer. 6:16 Thus saith the Lord, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein. KJV
Prov. 14:12 There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
Isa. 35:8 And an highway shall be there, and a way, and it shall be called The way of holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it; but it shall be for those: the wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein. KJV
There is a highway (higher than the ways of men) that will lead us all the way to the top of Mount Zion. And it is found in the next verse where Jesus said I am the way.
John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. KJV
Rev. 7:17 For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes. KJV
Song 1:8 Shepherds’ tents
Notice it is not just one shepherd but many shepherds, denoting that it is going to take a ministry to get the job done, not just a minister. Also realize that Jesus came and established a ministry to help with his salvation plan. I need to find where the ministry of Jesus Christ is and start to rest beside their tents, actually I need to go inside and make myself a part of the body of Christ. The shepherds’ tents are the assemblies in the body of Christ and they surround the main shepherd tent, which is Jesus of course. What this means to me is that the Lord has put a fivefold ministry over his church that is to lead (or guide) his flock to green pastures and feed them with the word of God and counsel.
Jer. 23:4 And I will set up shepherds over them which shall feed them: and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall they be lacking, saith the Lord. KJV
Eccles. 12:11 The words of the wise are as goads, and as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies, which are given from one shepherd. KJV
The one shepherd is Jesus, and the masters of assemblies are the pastors of his body. Therefore, let’s stay here (actually go inside one of the tents) by the shepherds’ tents so the shepherds can take care of us.
Song 1:9 I have compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses in Pharaoh’s chariots.
Here Solomon (Jesus) is comparing his love or the bride to a company of horses in Pharaoh’s chariots. To understand this we need to understand what a company of horses is and what kind of quality do they have that would cause Jesus to make this comparison.
This is what Solomon or Jesus was comparing his love to a company of horses.
The question should be: what made them so valuable? Horses denote a sense of power and of might, an unbeatable strength. Look at the following scriptures; we will use them to tie horses and strength together, thereby showing that horses are a picture of strength.
Ps. 33:17 An horse is a vain thing for safety: neither shall he deliver any by his great strength. KJV
Ps. 147:10 He delighteth not in the strength of the horse: he taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man. KJV
We know that these horses of Egypt were of great value because in 1 Kings 10:28 Solomon would go to Egypt to buy his horses from Pharaoh. In today’s langue Solomon would go to Pharaoh to arm or equip his army with the very best that money could buy, and that was horses and chariots out of Egypt.
1 Kings 10:28–29 And Solomon had horses brought out of Egypt, and linen yarn: the king’s merchants received the linen yarn at a price. 29And a chariot came up and went out of Egypt for six hundred shekels of silver, and an horse for an hundred and fifty: and so for all the kings of the Hittites, and for the kings of Syria, did they bring them out by their means. KJV
I don’t know a lot about horses but why wouldn’t Solomon have bought Arabians instead of these horses? Remember that the bride is compared to a company or group of these horses, so these horses were probably war horses intended for battle. So the question is: what kind of qualities are you looking for in a horse?
- One of the qualities I would be looking for is endurance. Can it still have the ability to keep going even after a long day in the heat? Jesus said he that endures to the end shall be saved.
- Another quality is being able to get along with the other horses, showing that we need to be able to blend our spirits together, to work together in unity with one another.
- They have been through the battle and came out victorious. They are not afraid of the battle, so we should not be timid about the trials and tribulations that the Lord puts us through.
- A horse should have some strength about him, and we know that our strength comes from the Lord.
We will have some of the same qualities as these horses have because of what the Lord has worked out in our lives. We are not looking for our natural strength to get us through the battle but the strength that comes from the Lord.
Ps. 18:32 It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. KJV
2 Cor. 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. KJV
Song 1:10 Thy cheeks are comely with rows of jewels, thy neck with chains of gold.
The cheeks are dealing with our mouths and the rows of jewels being our teeth showing that the bride has a maturity that allows her to eat and process the things of God, even the hard things of God. The neck is a picture of our will. We will go over some scriptures later on this idea of our neck being a picture of our will. Putting chains of gold around our neck is showing us that God has given us wisdom to the point that we can have strength or authority over our own will because of the things that we have ate out of the word of God. Jesus showed us that he had authority over his will in the garden when he said not my will but thine be done.
Luke 22:42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. KJV
First let’s deal with the jewels of her cheeks and then we will deal with the chains of gold.
Jewels deal with knowledge,
Prov. 20:15 There is gold, and a multitude of rubies: but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel. KJV
We see here is that our lips and the things we do can be a precious jewel.
In Hebrews 5:12-14 we see that strong meat or understanding of the Bible belongs to those who are of full age and because they have reached a level of maturity in the Lord that they don’t always have to have milk because they have become skillful in the use of the word of God.
Heb. 5:12-14 For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. 13 For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. 14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. KJV
Song 1:10 thy neck with chains of gold
Chains of gold show authority in the Bible, and the neck is a picture of our will. This would then be showing us that we can have authority over our will. We can bring our will into subjection to the word of God through the spirit of God. Because of what we learn (eat) out of his word and as we incorporate it into our lives we are becoming subject unto God’s will for our lives. Look at 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 the purpose of these weapons is so that we can bring every thought into obedience of Christ.
2 Cor. 10:3–5 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: 4(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. KJV
When the Bible deals with being stiff necked it is in association with self-willed, rebellious people who don’t want to listen to the word of God.
2 Kings 17:13–14 Yet the Lord testified against Israel, and against Judah, by all the prophets, and by all the seers, saying, Turn ye from your evil ways, and keep my commandments and my statutes, according to all the law which I commanded your fathers, and which I sent to you by my servants the prophets.
14Notwithstanding they would not hear, but hardened their necks, like to the neck of their fathers, that did not believe in the Lord their God. KJV
Neh. 9:29 And testifiedst against them, that thou mightest bring them again unto thy law: yet they dealt proudly, and hearkened not unto thy commandments, but sinned against thy judgments, (which if a man do, he shall live in them;) and withdrew the shoulder, and hardened their neck, and would not hear. KJV
Prov. 29:1 He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy. KJV
Deut. 31:27 For I know thy rebellion, and thy stiff neck: behold, while I am yet alive with you this day, ye have been rebellious against the Lord; and how much more after my death? KJV
Song 1:10 chains of gold (continued)
And now I will show you that these chains of gold are a picture of authority. When Daniel and Joseph were made rulers, they put a chain of gold around their necks to show that they had authority.
Dan. 5:29 And put a chain of gold about his neck. KJV
Gen. 41:42 And Pharaoh took off his ring from his hand, and put it upon Joseph’s hand, and arrayed him in vestures of fine linen, and put a gold chain about his neck. KJV
Chains of gold or the authority that we get comes from an understanding of God’s word. In the following verses, wisdom and instruction in righteousness are around our necks like a chain. We will see that we can bind the word of God around our necks (will).
Prov. 1:7–9 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. 8My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 9For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck. KJV
Prov. 3:21–22 My son, let not them depart from thine eyes: keep sound wisdom and discretion: 22So shall they be life unto thy soul, and grace to thy neck. KJV
Sound wisdom and discretion can be grace to our neck, just like a chain or necklace can grace someone’s neck.
2 Tim. 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: KJV
So we see that as we get an understanding of his word it starts to give us authority and power over our will allowing us to bring all our thoughts and then our lives into subjection unto the Lord. So the chains of gold would be an understanding of the scriptures that empowers the new man inside of us with the tools needed to bring our will into subjection to the will of God and allowing us to live righteous lives. .
Prov. 6:20–21 My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 21Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. KJV
Our father is God; remember when Jesus taught them the Lord prayer: “when you pray, pray our father which is in heaven.” So we need to keep God’s commandments, and our father’s commandments does come through his ministry so we need to listen to a ministry and our mother is the church. So her law would be not only the doctrines, but some traditions that might not be found in the Bible but most importantly the Law of kindness or charity as stated in Proverbs 31 about a virtuous woman.
Gal. 4:26 But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all. KJV
Galatians 4 is talking about his church which came into being on the day of Pentecost.
Prov. 3:3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: KJV
Prov 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.KJV
Song 1:11 We will make thee borders of gold with studs of silver.
The “we” in this verse is talking about God the father and his son Jesus Christ, and that they will make some borders or boundaries in our lives by giving us a complete understanding of the word of God. Borders of gold or the understanding of the word of God, (that the early church had) will keep us in the way of the Lord. Studs (like the studs of a house) of silver for supports, the silver or understanding of the latter reign church will actually support the teachings that was found in the days of the early church.. The border is like a battlement that was put around a building to keep people from falling. The Lord wants to give us all the understanding we need so that we won’t fall into sin anymore.
Deut. 22:8 When thou buildest a new house, then thou shalt make a battlement for thy roof, that thou bring not blood upon thine house, if any man fall from thence. KJV
Even the table of showbread in the tabernacle had a border on it to keep the bread from falling off. This table of showbread was found in the Holy place and had 12 loaves of bread on it. Eventually the Priest would eat this as it was replaced with new bread. Thus we use it as eating of the word of God. But the point here is that it still needed to have a border of gold around it.
Exod. 25:25–27 And thou shalt make unto it a border of an hand breadth round about, and thou shalt make a golden crown to the border thereof round about. 26And thou shalt make for it four rings of gold, and put the rings in the four corners that are on the four feet thereof. 27Over against the border shall the rings be for places of the staves to bear the table. KJV
Both gold and silver ties into an understanding of the word of God, we apply gold with the understanding that the early church had because gold is more valuable than silver and truly the early church had a far better understanding of the scriptures than we now have. Some of the truth that the early church had was covered up with the traditions of men, where men replaced the truth with a tradition Since Martin Luther men have been working on uncovering this lost or misplaced truth. Silver would then be the understanding that the latter reign church would acquire, consider Psalms 12:6 stating that the words of the Lord is as silver. The key word in Psalms 12:6 is ”as”, because this word ties the words of the Lord and pure silver together.
Ps 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
The following verses shows gold also is a picture of the word of God.
Ps 119:72 The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver. KJV
Ps 119:126-1276 It is time for thee, Lord, to work: for they have made void thy law.
127 Therefore I love thy commandments above gold; yea, above fine gold. KJV
The bride is talking again.
Song 1:12 While the king sitteth at his table, my spikenard sendeth forth the smell thereof.
Spikenard is an expensive perfume used in many ways and I am using it here to show that my life can give forth a sweet aroma or order, or that I can have a sweet spirit which is pleasing unto the Lord, we will deal with this later.
Song 1:12 While the King sitteth at his table.
The table refers to a church, so this tells us that if Christ, our king is sitting at his table or in his seat of authority as the head of the body, this will cause my life to produce a sweet-smelling fragrance. In other words, as I am overcoming by living the kind of life that Jesus would want me to live my life will produce a sweet spirit. The key is I need to let the Lord sit at the table of my heart and rule as the king of my life in order to produce this. Used to be that the head of the family or the patriarch of the family would set at the head of the table and mom would sit at the other end and the children would be at the sides of the table. It did re-enforce the order of our family without having to say anything about it.
The point I am trying to make here is if I will let Jesus be the Lord of my life and present my body as a living sacrifice to him, it will produce a sweet and loving spirit that the world will see. Thus my spikenard, or my spirit, will produce a sweet aroma.
Let’s deal with the table being the church. In showing that a table is a church or place of worship, consider the following verses.
Rom. 11:7–10 What then? Israel hath not obtained that which he seeketh for; but the election hath obtained it, and the rest were blinded. 8(According as it is written, God hath given them the spirit of slumber, eyes that they should not see, and ears that they should not hear;) unto this day. 9And David saith, Let their table be made a snare, and a trap, and a stumbling block, and a recompence unto them: 10Let their eyes be darkened, that they may not see, and bow down their back alway. KJV
Roman 11 is showing us that spiritually they had become blind. In reference to David, he said that their table should be made a snare, and they became snared with what they believed, having their eyes darkened. Note: what I want to show here is that a table is connected with worship or what one believes, if I am not careful my table or believes can become a snare unto me and I can miss out with the Lord also.
Isa. 28:7–8 But they also have erred through wine, and through strong drink are out of the way; the priest and the prophet have erred through strong drink, they are swallowed up of wine, they are out of the way through strong drink; they err in vision, they stumble in judgment. 8For all tables are full of vomit and filthiness, so that there is no place clean. KJV
1 Cor. 10:19–21 What say I then? that the idol is any thing, or that which is offered in sacrifice to idols is any thing? 20But I say, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to devils, and not to God: and I would not that ye should have fellowship with devils. 21Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord’s table, and of the table of devils. KJV
This deals with the wrong way to worship God in that it talks about how they sacrifice to the idols, thus tying the two thoughts of sacrifice and table together. So then the king’s table would be the body of Christ where you can eat of the things of God and Jesus will be at the head of the table.
Song 1:12 my spikenard sendeth forth the smell thereof.
Again the point I am trying to make here is if I will let Jesus be the Lord of my life and present my body as a living sacrifice to him, it will produce a sweet and loving spirit that the world will see. Thus my spikenard, or my spirit, will produce a sweet aroma.
Spikenard is an oil that emits a pleasing smell, and it was used to anoint Jesus’s head and feet. Mary the sister of Lazarus did this for his burial in John 12:3.
John 12:3 Then took Mary a pound of ointment of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped his feet with her hair: and the house was filled with the odour of the ointment. KJV
Eph. 4:32 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. KJV
Phil. 4:18 But I have all, and abound: I am full, having received of Epaphroditus the things which were sent from you, an odour of a sweet smell, a sacrifice acceptable, wellpleasing to God. KJV
If Jesus give himself and it was a sweet smelling savor unto God than if I follow in his footsteps my live can be a sweet smelling savor unto God.
Song 1:13 A bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto me;
This shows that Jesus was bruised for our transgressions so that we could be healed from our sinful nature that Adam brought onto mankind.
Let’s first look at a definition for what myrrh is and then scriptures to show why this applies to Jesus. Myrrh was used as perfume and/or as medicine
When a myrrh tree wound penetrates through the bark and into the sapwood, the tree bleeds a resin. Myrrh gum, like frankincense, is such a resin. When people harvest myrrh, they wound the trees repeatedly to bleed them of the gum. Myrrh gum is waxy and coagulates quickly. After the harvest, the gum becomes hard and glossy. The gum is yellowish and may be either clear or opaque. It darkens deeply as it ages, and white streaks emerge. (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myrrh.)
Interesting that there is a change that takes place during this process, likewise with us also as we go through this process with the Lord there need be a change that takes place within our lives.
Jesus being wounded for our transgressions or sins is like the myrrh tree being wounded.
2 Cor. 5:21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. KJV
Isa. 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. KJV
1 Pet. 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. KJV
Also consider the fact that myrrh was also used for burial practices, therefore tying it in with Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection. Myrrh was used in many different ways in the ancient world and was considered sacred by several cultures. The ancient Egyptians used the resin when embalming mummies. It was also an ingredient for incense, according to the Old Testament, and the New Testament states that Jesus was brought a gift of it, along with gold and frankincense, shortly after his birth. It has been reported that, in 65 CE, the Roman Emperor Nero burned a year’s supply at the funeral of his wife. (Source: http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-myrrh.htm.)
Song 1:13 He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.
Here is a spot where the natural is used to illustrate a spiritual meaning.
Breasts depict our understanding of the Old and New Testaments because breasts are where mother’s milk comes from. I need an understanding of both the New Testament and the Old Testament in order to get a clear understanding of Jesus. So here when we deal with him (Jesus) laying between her breast what it is talking about is this:
The Old Testament points toward the coming of Jesus through prophecy, types, and shadows. The New Testament points us back to Jesus, and right in the middle of both of these you will find the four gospels which tells us about Jesus. Hence he is laying between the two breasts.
Here are some scriptures that will tie breast and milk together with an understanding of the word of God.
Isa. 28:9 Whom shall he teach knowledge? And whom shall he make to understand doctrine? them that are weaned from the milk, and drawn from the breasts. KJV
Heb. 5:12–14 For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you
again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of
milk, and not of strong meat. 13For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of
righteousness: for he is a babe. 14But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. KJV
1 Pet. 2:2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
1 Cor. 3:2–3 I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able. 3For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men? KJV
In 1 Corinthians 3 Paul ties being a carnal Christian in with being a babe in Christ, because he fed them with milk and not meat.
The bride is talking again.
Song 1:14 My beloved is unto me as a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of En-gedi.
Jesus is this cluster of camphire; this shows us that the Lord will be a barrier or protection unto us. We can be surrounded by Jesus and have our lives hid in him.
Camphire is a shrub that grows to a height of eight to ten feet and bears very fragrant, cream-colored flowers. The botanical name of the plant is Lawsonia alba. In ancient times it grew plentifully near En-gedi (Song of Solomon i. 14). Tristram (Natural History of the Bible, p. 339) reports having found it growing there. Camphire had various uses. Along with other fragrant woods (Song of Solomon iv. 13–14), it was valued for its perfume.
The shrub as used for protection (http://jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/3954-camphire). Clusters of camphire were also used around the vineyards for soil erosion, just like the Lord puts battlements around our minds to protect us from the world.
Song 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes.
Here Jesus is talking about his bride and says she has doves’ eyes, thus showing that we need to have a singleness of mind or purpose, that of being in the high calling of Christ, the bride of Christ. This is because doves can only see out of one eye at a time, we also need to keep our focus on the Lord and what he wants us to do.
A dove’s eyes are set so they can only look in one direction at a time. They are not easily distracted. This characteristic is attributed to the bride of Christ. She too is continually and steadfastly looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, no matter what distractions and “other lovers” may come her way. She simply cannot look away from the Lord.
Some scriptures on being single minded or having a single heart tying it in with the dove eye.
Matt 22:37-38 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. KJV
James 1:8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. KJV
Sometimes in the Bible a dove represents the Holy Ghost because when Jesus was baptized by John the Baptize the spirit descended as a dove and landed on him. So can I look at things going on in my life through the eyes of the spirit? In other words, can I go through life being led by the spirit? This will help us by allowing us to see that the things I go through is working out something far greater than the sufferings that I am going through. Look at second Corinthians 4:16-18 show that we are keeping our focus on eternal things.
2 Cor 4:16-18 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; 18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. KJV
Song 1:16 Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green.
Here the Bride is talking about Jesus we know this because he is referring to as my beloved.
What makes Jesus so fair is also found in Chapter 5 talking about his character.
WE find that he only have immortality, the king of kings, always followed the leading of the spirit,has a transforming power. We will go into more detail latter.
Song 1:16 also our bed is green.
I use the color green in Mark 6:39 as a picture of life because when the grass is green, and the trees are green with leaves you know there is life going through them, their life is not dormant. Our bed being green means that there is life in his church. A bed is a picture of a church because of the following verse, in which the bed and sacrifice are tied together. Sacrifice was the method of worship in the Old Testament.
Isa. 57:7 Upon a lofty and high mountain hast thou set thy bed: even thither wentest thou up to offer sacrifice. KJV
Mark 6:39 And he commanded them to make all sit down by companies upon the green grass. KJV
I use the color green to show life, i.e., trees, grass, etc., are all green when they are full of life.Here Jesus fed the 5,000 and he made them to sit down on green grass or a place of life where he feeds us spiritually.
Song 1:17 The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir.
Beams are the boards that support the roof and rafters are the side boards that add additional strength to the roof.
Here the beams are showing us that we want to be enclosed with righteousness (cedar). In another words I want to be thinking and meditating upon being righteous or doing the right thing. The Lord is going to have a church that is made up of righteous people, righteous but not self-righteous.
The following scriptures show us that the beams of the temple were covered with cedar and that the righteous are like the cedar, you will notice in Psalms 92 that the righteous is compared to both a palm tree and a cedar tree. In Psalms 132:9 the priests were suppose to be clothed (or enclosed) with righteousness (cedar).
1 Kings 6:9 So he built the house, and finished it; and covered the house with beams and boards of cedar. KJV
Ps. 92:12 The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree: he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon. KJV
Ps. 132:9 Let thy priests be clothed with righteousness; and let thy saints shout for joy. KJV
2 Chron. 6:41 Now therefore arise, O Lord God, into thy resting place, thou, and the ark of thy strength: let thy priests, O Lord God, be clothed with salvation, and let thy saints rejoice in goodness. KJV
Isa. 61:10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels. KJV
Song 1:17 and our rafters of fir.
Since fir is an evergreen tree that stays green all the time, I like to use it here to show that we can stay full of life all the time. The Lord can put things into our lives through the word of God that will produce everlasting life. Because it is a rafter that holds up the roof, it shows me that we need to think about those things that produce life in our lives. For instance, what is it that I think about the most? Is it the things that please my flesh or the things that will please God? I should be feeding my mind with the things that will help me to have a righteous mind like am I reading the Bible every day, do I spend time in prayer, what kind of music am I listening to? What difference does music have on my mind? It is because there are certain words that go with the music and sometimes music can either stir up or calm my spirit so I need to listen to things that will help produce the right kind of spirit.
Ps. 1:2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. KJV
Ps. 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. KJV
Phil. 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. KJV
Matt. 12:35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. KJV
Luke 12:34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. KJV
So do I treasure the things of God and his word over the things that please my flesh?
About the Author
In 1979, he received the baptism of the Holy Ghost. Since then, he has had fellowships with the same group. Song of Solomon is his first book.
You can visit his website at http://www.sypherbooks.com.
Title: NIGHT IN JERUSALEM
Author: Gaelle Lehrer Kennedy
Publisher: PKZ Inc.
Genre: Historical Romance
A bewitching love story that is also an extraordinary portrait of Jerusalem, its faith, spirituality, identity, and kaleidoscope of clashing beliefs, Night in Jerusalem is a novel of mystery, beauty, historical insight, and sexual passion.
David Bennett is invited to Jerusalem in 1967 by his cousin who, to the alarm of his aristocratic British family, has embraced Judaism. He introduces David to his mentor, Reb Eli, a revered sage in the orthodox community. Despite his resistance to religious teaching, David becomes enthralled by the rabbi’s wisdom and compassionate presence. When David discloses a sexual problem, Reb Eli unwittingly sets off a chain of events that transforms his life and the life of the mysterious prostitute, Tamar, who, in a reprise of an ancient biblical story, leads both men to an astonishing realization. As passions rise, the Six Day War erupts, reshaping the lives of everyone caught up in it.
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About the Author
Gaelle Lehrer Kennedy worked as an actress and writer in film and television in the United States and Israel. Night in Jerusalem is her debut novel, which she has adapted to film. She lives in Ojai California with her husband and daughter.
She writes, “I lived in Israel in the 1960s, a naive twenty-year-old, hoping to find myself and my place in the world. The possibility of war was remote to me. I imagined the tensions in the region would somehow be resolved peacefully. Then, the Six Day War erupted and I experienced it firsthand in Jerusalem.
I have drawn Night in Jerusalem from my experiences during that time. The historical events portrayed in the novel are accurate. The characters are based on people I knew in the city. Like me, they were struggling to make sense of their lives, responding to inherited challenges they could not escape that shaped their destiny in ways they and the entire Middle East could not have imagined.
I have always been intrigued by the miraculous. How and where the soul’s journey leads and how it reveals its destiny. How two people who are destined, even under the threat of war and extinction, can find one another.
Israel’s Six Day War is not a fiction; neither was the miracle of its victory. What better time to discover love through intrigue, passion, and the miraculous.
Writing this story was in part reliving my history in Israel, in part a mystical adventure. I am grateful that so many who have read Night In Jerusalem have experienced this as well.”
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Want to fix your diabetes? In this book, I share with my diabetic and borderline diabetic readers that they have the power to reverse or prevent diabetes simply by changing their diets. It starts with how you think. By removing old beliefs to new ones that better serve you, the path to recovery from diabetes can be that simple. Once I provide the rationale for changing old beliefs to more productive ones, I then share with you ways to stay motivated as you journey to a new way of eating. You are then given a deeper understanding of why so many people have diabetes. This knowledge will allow you to remove thoughts you may have had where you blamed yourself for having diabetes. You are then given tips on how to maintain the motivation needed to make a successful transition to a diabetic friendly diet. Additional knowledge is given about the many complications which could occur when this condition is not well controlled. Empowered with the understanding of why diabetes occurs and its many complications, you will be given a case for changing how diabetes is treated. This is done by changing the focus of diabetes management away from the symptoms (elevated glucose), which is how we currently manage this condition, to treating the cause of the disease (insulin resistance). You are then given the rationale for increasing healthy fats in your diets while reducing starchy carbohydrates and processed foods. Once this is explained, examples of foods that should be considered for smoothies, snacks, and dinner are given so you will know how to choose foods which are best. Finally, tips on how to avoid being fooled by marketing labels and claims of so-called healthy foods provide the framework by which great dietary choices can be made. This new approach to reversing diabetes with diet will reverse diabetes in nearly anyone willing to make these simply lifestyle changes.
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Fix Your Motivation
“If someone is going down the wrong road,
he doesn’t need motivation to speed him up.
What he needs is education to turn him around.”
Answering the WHY Question
So what is your motivation for reading this book? Is it because you feel it’s time to finally win your battle with diabetes and are looking for the steps you need to take to get you there? Or is it because the world has convinced you that the reason you have this condition is because you have not taken personal responsibility for the lifestyle decisions you have made? If only you would eat less and exercise more, right? That’s what you have been told for so many years and yet no matter what you do, you have not found a path to success.
I have some good news for you. You are not the problem. If that was so, we would be living in a world of unmotivated individuals unwilling to make the necessary changes to improve their overall health. I don’t believe this at all. My experience with patients is that most want to be healthy and are willing to do what’s needed to get healthy.
So if that’s true, what’s been keeping them from finding success? The answer is simple. It’s not a lack of motivation but a lack of information. Yes, the path to success is understanding how our bodies work, which is becoming clearer as more and more research is being done.
In the pages of this book I will share a way of viewing your diet that perhaps no one has taught you before. With this new information you can take the steps needed to make changes in your diet and lifestyle. As you learn how to approach your food options, you will give your body access to the right nutrition. This will help you keep your blood sugars down, ultimately reducing the need for insulin, whether it comes from your pancreas (your insulin factory) or the pharmacy (medication). And yes, eating healthier can be done affordably, as long as you are open to eating some of the things you normally walk away from when shopping.
As a physician, there were times when I blamed my patients for not being at their ideal body weight until I realized one important reality. Maybe their behaviors didn’t lead to their inability to process glucose biochemically, but rather their biochemistry led to the behaviors. You may want to read that last sentence again. In other words, relax and stop blaming yourself.
Once you understand how sugars affect your decisions, you will stop blaming yourself (or anyone else) for your diabetes or the effects it has on your physical condition. You will also learn that all calories are not the same and that some calories are good while others are bad.
For example, calories from sugars are not the best way to receive nutrition, no matter what you’ve been told about how much of your nutrition should be coming from sugars or carbs. In fact, an International Econometric Analysis of Diet and Diabetes found “sugar availability is a significant statistical determinant of diabetes prevalence rates worldwide.”
To put this in perspective, a 12-ounce can of regular Coke contains 39 grams of total sugar, which is about 9-1/3 teaspoons of sugar. The American Heart Association (AHA) has put together a maximum intake allowance for sugar, and according to the AHA, women should have no more than 6 teaspoons per day. Men can have up to 9 teaspoons of sugar daily. So, whether you’re male or female, drinking a single 12-ounce can of Coke goes over the maximum sugar allowance for the day.2 The average American consumes 22 teaspoons daily.
Keeping these facts in mind, it would not surprise you that drinking just one soda per day increases your risk for diabetes by 29 per-cent, regardless of your current weight. So I ask the question again, are you lacking motivation or lacking knowledge? I think you know the answer. Now let’s start by looking at ways you can stay motivated as you work toward your goal of fixing your diabetes.
Set a Goal
The first step is to define your goal. Your short-term goal may be to get your Hemoglobin A1c under 7. Or maybe you have a long-term goal of preventing many of the complications of diabetes, like blindness or kidney failure. Either way, defining your goals will be an important step in reaching them.
Keep your goals realistic and focused. Goals that are out of reach only create an unrealistic illusion. For example, I’m a tennis fan and dream of playing at Wimbledon someday. But the reality is that I am at an age and skill level where this is an impossible dream. Likewise, if your goals are not focused, you may find yourself trying to accom-plish more than your brain can handle. This results in mental fatigue, which will sap your confidence.
Now let’s look at the benefits of sharing your goals.
Share Your Goal
I must admit, this is risky. Even your friends and family, who should be your greatest source of support, can sometimes be your greatest source of discouragement. Many times they are not aware that they are harming you. They want to limit your expectations so they can protect you from failure. All the same, friends and family can be our greatest ally as we work towards our goals. We want them on board when we are trying to accomplish anything, so talk to them and let them know you are determined to change and succeed. They will help keep you from falling off the wagon whenever a little motivation is needed. Your diabetes control may depend on it.
Introduce Your Goal to Your Refrigerator
In a world where stainless steel is becoming the norm, I hope I don’t upset anyone with the idea of putting anything on that fancy refrigerator door. But this may be the best way to find the daily reminder you’ll need to stay motivated. Most of us will pass by that big ice box at least once daily. Why not repurpose it as a reminder of your personal goals? Such a reminder could be exactly what you need to get your day started on the right foot. Consider a picture of your diabetes medicines with a big X over it. This could serve as your aspirational goal of using your diet to get off medicines.
Partner With Others to Help You Reach Your Goals
Have you ever thought, “If only I had a life coach?” Imagine having someone to help you as you take your journey to a place you’ve never been before. How secure would you feel knowing that you’re not alone, but have a built-in support system to help you along the way? Partnering with someone can make this all possible.
Partnerships create an accountability that for some of us is not easily achieved alone. Not only will you benefit, but you will be return-ing the favor by providing the same support for the person you’ve created your partnership with. You are now accountable to each other, sharing both your successes and failures. Even the most successful motivational speakers, like Anthony Robbins, have life coaches. Think about the people in your circle and see if someone could fill this role in your life. If you can’t find one in your circle, consider hiring a professional life coach or joining a diabetes support group in your area.
Focus on What’s Important to You, Not What’s Important to Others
The reality for many of us is that we spend too much time focused on other people’s agendas—whether it’s doing activities you really don’t want to do, not knowing how to say no, or allowing others to dictate how you should live your life. The key is to reflect on your own goals and allow those goals to set your day’s agenda. Once you remove distractions caused by others, there will be plenty of time to do the things that are meaningful to you.
If you rarely feel motivated, making this shift could correct your energy levels. When you’re doing things for yourself, motivation will naturally be high because you’re doing what your own spirit desires. Doing other people’s work will never create the motivation you need to accomplish anything.
Be Careful of the Words You Use Daily
You are what you think or say you are. If you use negative words to describe yourself or your capacity to reach your goals, you will likely fulfill those negative expectations. When was the last time you recall a negative-thinking person accomplishing much or inspiring others? This doesn’t happen. Understanding that our thoughts become our reality is one of the most important keys to creating an environment that fosters success. If you believe you can fix your diabetes, you will.
Create a Positive Environment to Nurture Your Spirit
I listen to inspirational messages daily. Messages from those who have mastered the art of positive thinking. They are so easy to find— in books, with an Internet search, or on Youtube. This has changed my life and it will do the same for you.
All you need to do is take a few minutes each day to get the positive juices flowing. This will enable you to counter the negative forces you will certainly face each day. Whether it’s the local news, a negative co-worker, a mean boss, or an unsupportive family member, your ability to manage the negative energy they are emitting is made easier with the armor of positive thoughts in your head.
So take a moment to think about all your activities and the time and resources they use. Then start the process of removing those activities which don’t add value or help you reach your goal of better controlling your diabetes. By replacing activities which don’t serve you with activities that do, you will find it easier to reach your goals. Will you have the courage to take away those activities which have been part of your routine for so long? Sometimes it’s what we don’t do that harms us the most
Take a w a y s
- Reflect and decide WHY you are motivated to fix your diabetes. Your motivation may be a person, or it may be a goal you are trying to reach.
- Set a specific goal with a defined date to reach it.
This could be a target level of hemoglobin A1c.
- Share your goal with someone who wants to help you reach it, to create accountability.
- Write your goal on a sticky note and place it on your refrigerator as a daily reminder.
- Get yourself a life coach.
- Focus on your own priorities and not the priorities of others.
- Speak encouraging language to yourself and others.
- Make sure your day is started with positives messages.
About the Author
Dr. Tony Hampton has been treating patients with multiple chronic conditions for nearly two decades. In addition to his role as an Advocate Medical Group (AMG) family physician over the last nine years, Dr. Hampton currently holds multiple responsibilities within the Advocate Healthcare, including Medical Director of AMG Beverly, Vice-Chair of AMG’s Governing Council, Chair of Health Outcomes Committee and Co-Chair of Executive Diversity Council.
Over the last two years, Dr. Hampton has worked closely with AOS, successfully piloting advancements in AMG’s operations management systems. He is a champion for change that results in greater work-life balance for physicians and an enhanced patient experience. His interpersonal skills, clinical knowledge, and desire for strong patient/team engagement will continue to make Tony an asset to the AOS team.
A regular speaker for the American Diabetes Association and consultant for the Illinois Department of Public Health’s Initiative to Improve Diabetes Care, Dr. Hampton is passionate about empowering patients by changing old beliefs to new ones which better serve them using evidence-based medicine. Educating them on the root cause of disease processes and the importance of diet provides the path to positive health outcomes for diabetics, borderline diabetics, and patients not at their ideal body weight.
He is a Certified Physician Executive (CPE) and earned his MBA from the University of Phoenix. Tony authored the book Fix Your Diabetes, Fix Your Diet, Your Dietary Solution to Reversing Diabetes which was published in April 2017.
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